Hollywood hellraiser and star of hilarious sitcom Two And Half Men, Charlie Sheen, has been admitted to rehab after a booze and drugs binge that lasted 36 hours involving various porn ‘actresses’, and in which he admitted that he had lost all his teeth and had them replaced with veneers.
But his continued drug use has destroyed the veneers too and they have now been replaced with gold replicas, according to a 22-year-old porn star who liaised with him during a drug party at his home in LA.
Filthy actress Kacey Jordan, admitted that she and Sheen had “quick sex” during which the actor bemoaned the state of his decaying maw.
“All his teeth have fallen out from partying. He kept saying ‘f***** porcelain teeth… they’re crap’,” said the reliable and erudite source. “He wouldn’t say why, but we all know it’s because of the drug use,” she continued brightly.
Romantic Sheen ordered $20,000 of cocaine that he smoked from a pipe whilst they enjoyed sex movies. After their meaningful sex session, he then wrote her a cheque for over $30,000 and warmly invited her to be part of his “porn family” in a house he intends to inhabit with talented porn actresses so that he can admire their acting prowess on a regular basis. So, a little bit like a brothel then.
Cue Charlie “Hugh Hefner” Sheen.
The precocious Jordan also said that Sheen punched holes in a wall and screamed furiously when one of the other actresses damaged his car as she was leaving the soiree and that she feared another ‘plaza incident’ (the night Sheen destroyed a hotel room while porn star Capri Anderson cowered uncharacteristically naked in the bathroom.)
[adsense]Sheen is surprisingly TV’s highest-paid star, earning a staggering $2million for every episode of Two And A Half Men.
A spokesman for the star claims he is suffering from a hernia and said the pain he was in was caused from laughing too much. Although he later sent an SMS from rehab that read ‘I’m fine. People don’t seem to get it. Guy can’t have a great time and do his job also? Bunch of turds.’
If you are worried that laughter might be causing irrevocable damage to your teeth, avoid watching sitcoms and seek the advice of a dentist.
Please share your thoughts on Charlie Sheen’s behaviour and the state of his teeth by leaving comment.
images: glamourgirlgames.com, wallpaper-s.org