In a controversial and frankly quite risible and sickening move, Newsweek has reincarnated Princess Diana to feature on its most recent cover
In a shocking revelation, officials at Buckingham Phallus have issued a statement confirming that Kate Middleton (Kiddleton) and Prince William (Pilliam) have been married in a secret ceremony that took place in London, capital of The England, over the past weekend.
As if lampooning themselves, some of the latest news last night covered what some of the royal wedding guests might be wearing. Seriously, anyone who seriously gives a fuck, should consider terminating their existence.
In true American style, the launch of NASA’s space shuttle Endeavour is set to rival the Royal Wedding of Prince William (not William Prince who’s acting career flourished in the 1940‘s and 50‘s) and Kate Middleton (I couldn’t find anyone called Middleton Kate with which to make a clever pun) in the ratings wars.
With Friday just hours away, a source at Buckingham Palace (lovingly referred to by the Brits as ‘Balace’) has revealed that a woman called Kate Middleton (who the press have decided isn’t as beautiful as Princess Diana, even though she clearly is) is to marry the non-ginger Prince – just one day from now!!!
‘Queen chokes to death in drunken speed eating contest during 108th sticky bun’; ‘Celebrity spotted exhibiting talent’, ‘Lady Gaga wears bikini made of egg white’ or ‘Gaga admits “I’m really not that talented”, these are the headlines we’re really gagging for.
Royal Wedding officials are hiring Diccon Ramsay, a stage manager from the UK’s shamefully talentless overhyped talent show The X-Factor to oversee the filming of the wedding this Friday and it is guaranteed to turn into something absurd and spectacular – “the greatest event in the history of television” a source told another source.
Just a few short weeks since Prince William and his sweetheart Kate Middleton formally announced their engagement to an adoring public, some media outlets are today that writing that the couple could have their first child as early as this time next year.
Prince William and Kate Middleton have come under scathing attack from a prominent Bishop who referred to them as ‘shallow celebrities’. He also went on to predict their marriage will end after just seven years.
The royal couple are engaged at last and will tie the knot next year, it was announced today, finally ending years of speculation about the couple’s future together.