A new controversial and really quite ridiculous diet solution has been launched that could have us fatties dropping one or even two pounds of lard per day, it is claimed. Sounds like a dream for anyone who still thinks that somewhere out there they can find a quick fix; who still hasn’t cottoned onto the fact that there is no really effective and safe system of losing weight other than healthy eating combined with regular exercise. Bad news, I know.
The HGC (Human Gonadotrophin Hormone) is the latest, probably not entirely effective but more than likely dangerous anyway weight loss system that consists of injections or oral doses of HGC every day, and apparently, coupled with a diet of 500 calories a day – or less (!) you’ll be dropping more weight than a jogging leper. Who knew?!
The lucky HGC dieters are allowed to gorge themselves frenziedly on a few ounces of food each day, and an entire serving of bread and the magic little hormone will do the rest: keeping that voracious hunger at bay, and resisting your bodies natural reaction to being starved to death by going into starvation mode, which is where most calorie restrictive diets fail. You starve yourself, your silly old body gets itself into a right panic because it’s cleverly programmed to try and stay alive and then as soon as you finally decide to commence living again, your body says ‘fuck this’ and starts eating houses, hoarding as much fat as it can in your ass and thighs or beneath your chin, so it has a good back up supply of lard for the next time famine hits, in the form of the next great breakthrough diet, created by some charlatan doctor, who is preying on your weakness for wanting to be slim like all the celebrities and models you see on TV and in magazines.
The HGC ‘drug’ itself consists of a hormone produced by pregnant women – which is just a bit fucking creepy.
Medical professionals, other than those paid to endorse it, are not convinced of either its effectiveness or more importantly, its safety. And it doesn’t really take seven years at Harvard to share that opinion.
Of course, anyone eating less than 500 calories a day will lose vast quantities of weight, but what else will they risk whilst consuming so few nutrients? Whether or not their lives will be worth living whilst on the diet, or afterwards, remains to be seen.
I used to be anorexic and weeks and months would go by when I consumed 350-500 calories a day – about a fifth of what I should have been consuming for my height, and yes, I was damn thin. I looked in the mirror and I liked my outline. I had a concave stomach. But internally I was in a state of abject misery. An absolute prisoner of weightloss. If I ate – even a very small amount, I would put on weight and get fat. If I didn’t eat, I would die. It has taken ten years so far, to quell the obsession with weight, and the fight is not yet won. But I have stopped looking for the ‘magic pill’ – the HGC diet certainly isn’t it. We are living creatures. We have to eat. Like any other creature on the planet. What’s the point of having a 25” waist when you have sallow skin, depression and brain damage?
The best way to lose weight is to start by re-educating your taste buds. If you’re a burger and chips and ½ litre of soda kid, then you need to wake up and start taking responsibility for that pink fleshy vehicle that carries you around. It’s not just a fat, you-shaped cushion to rest your head on – you need it to live. Look after it.
Forget these fads like the HGC diet and the leeches whose pockets they line with our hard earned cash. If you want to carry on eating too much pizza and apple pie, washed down with milkshake, then that is entirely up to you. But don’t sit waiting for a magic diet to come along and fix your waistline and the debilitating illnesses that being overweight attract.
I know it’s hard. And I don’t want to sound like I’m oversimplifying something that can be so difficult. I’ve been there. I’ve felt the pain. I know what it feels like to look in the mirror and despise the bloated sack of self-hating shit that returned my gaze.
If when you passed your driving test you were given a car and told, look after that as that’s the only one you will ever get. You cannot upgrade it, you cannot part-ex it, you cannot buy a new one – That’s it – then you’d damn well look after it. Think of your body in the same way. Start looking after it and don’t be inveigled into the dark world of diet pills. The only thing you are guaranteed to lose is your money.
Forget the HGC diet, the pills, the calories counting, the low-fat, low carb, the weighing scales and the spinning classes. Just eat healthily and incorporate an exercise that you enjoy into your life.
500 calories a day and a tasty injection? – Fuck that!
Share a thought or two on the HGC diet by leaving a comment.
Read about SENSA weight loss nonsense; how cereals are NOT good for you; a healthier alternative for sustained weight loss; throw in some yoga and follow Jake Gyllenhaal’s fine example by growing your own vegetables to keep trim.
images: mydietsolutions.com; hcgdietxp.com; strategerie.wordpress.com