Sick Celebrities


Will Smith is dead at last


News reports this morning claim that highly rated actor (by himself) Will Smith has died after falling from a cliff in New Zealand while filming Men In Black III. Further reports say the actor has been seen back on set since his timely death and is now alive and well.

The only conclusion we can draw from this is that Will Smith is in fact the new messiah which of course the actor himself has been trying to tell us ever since the days of Fresh Prince of Bel Air via his journey through the Hollywood halls in films such as I Am Legend in which he plays the saviour of mankind, or Hancock where he portrays a drunk superhero who saves the world, and of course his highly amusing starring roles in the Men In Black franchise where averts alien invasions and saves the world.

Harold Camping of all people will be the happiest man un-raptured when he reads this news.

How Will Smith could look when unveiled (by himself) as the new messiah.

Will’s forthcoming movie ventures include an as yet untitled M. Knight Shayamalan film in which Smith is cast as a survivor of a crashed space vessel which puts him on a barren earth some thousand years in the future. No doubt there’ll be the usual inane twists and turns with Smith becoming some sort of messianic world leader in a Planet Of The Apes style affair but with less monkeys.

The point is that Will Smith is probably one of the greatest self-promoters on the planet and his legacy now extends to his children who are already forging careers in the entertainment industry at a dangerously young age. No amount of parental guidance can protect them from the harsh realities of critics, demanding fans and exhausting promotional tours or work loads, and while the income may seem very nice, the outcome is burned out rehab-potentials.

Willow Smith (nothing egotistical about that name eh Will?) is already a pop sensation while Jaden Smith has been cast in a remake of The Karate Kid, ironically produced by his father.

Willow and Jaden Smith will continue the Smith legacy ensuring we're all subjected to second rate entertainment.

A cliff fall would never be enough to repress the growth of the Smith dynasty and his genetic code has been reproduced in his children who look set, steered by their narcissistic father, to continue polluting our eyes, ears and minds with the Smith brand name for decades to come.

My advice to New Zealand is, get some taller cliffs.

Share your thoughts on Will Smith’s ego by leaving a comment.

Other stars who didn’t die in horrible accidents are Owen Wilson and Adam Sandler.

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