Victoria Beckham’s vanity is once again making headlines as the vacuous and talentless former Spice Girl faces a crisis of monumental proportions. Posh is apparently living in fear of losing her supposed trademark hair due to a post-pregnancy condition which causes a form of Alopecia.
Victoria Beckham’s hair has of course been anything but trademark, often scraped back into a pony tail or curled up in a bun; hardly a ground breaking style as it has been worn that way by matriarchs and serfs for centuries.
She has been lauded in the media for her style and looks, neither of which are real. After a boob job which made her look like she was smuggling a pair of grapefruits on her collar bones; botox, collagen implants, nose job and not forgetting a plethora of wigs, the very ordinary and average looking Essex girl finally became camera worthy.
What really grates is that her world is so small and her ego so large that events like the death of Amy Winehouse or Morrissey speaking out about animal rights are made to seem trivial compared by the exaggeratedly massive trauma losing one’s hair has on a personality bankrupt nobody. She doesn’t live in the real world at all but annoyingly still manages to invade it enough for whatever scraps of publicity she can get her talons into.
Famous only for being a footballer’s wife and one-time least active member of a girl band because she can’t sing or dance, Beckham has tried desperately for years to make a career as something tangible but failed at every turn. She now calls herself a fashion designer although she only endorses a brand which is actually designed by someone else.
Posh (who is anything but) has nothing else going for her and when David Beckham hangs up his boots the couple will struggle to garner the same publicity they are currently enjoying. Unfortunately for her she isn’t as strong a parasite as Lady Gaga who seems to be able to turn anything into publicity for herself, even the death of Amy Winehouse who she never met.
Victoria Beckham is too conservative to be dangerous, too dull to be flamboyant and too innocuous to impose herself on the public for long enough to keep us interested.
In a world infested with celebrities on drugs, being gunned down, stealing jewellery, making controversial films and dying after years of publicised addiction and substance abuse, the harshest thing we hear about Victoria Beckham is her fear of losing the thickness of her hair.
A well informed ‘insider’ (read as ‘made up’) who can’t tell the difference between eating disorders and hair problems told Now magazine, ‘Victoria’s always felt her hair is her biggest problem.’
‘She used extensions for years, which left her with some patchy bald spots. When she fell pregnant her hair got shinier, thicker and stronger than it had been in years.’
‘She loved it and experimented with lots of different looks but it’s starting to fall out and she’s heartbroken.’
Poor Posh Spice, she hasn’t had her leg blown off in a fire fight by Colonel Qaddafi’s troops, she hasn’t lost her life after years of battling addiction, she hasn’t lost all her money like Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, nor has she been forced into a pen with pipes attached to her udders and milked to death; no, Victoria Beckham’s hair is going a bit thin.
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Read about her appearance at the Royal Wedding, as well as former Spice Girls Geri Halliwell and her uninspiring bikini range and Mel C’s eating disorders.
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