Victoria Beckham has vagina envy over Tana Ramsay

Victoria Beckham‘s life never seems to get any easier. Having abandoned her five week old daughter in order to get her lollipop and two gobstoppers figure back at the Steven Spielberg’s very reasonably priced $90,000 per week retreat, the vapid Beckham is now suffering a bout of vagina envy over her supposed best friend Tana Ramsay.

Our dear posh spice slipped a disc in her back after giving birth to Harper Seven Beckham, the daughter she so desperately wanted (only to abandon after five weeks as previously mentioned) and has been unable to exercise since. This lack of a good workout means she’s had to survive on a diet of two cilantro leaves per week and less water than is required to drown a single cell organism (a being similar in dimensions to Posh’s personality).

Victoria Beckham relaxes after her slipped disc episode.

With their mum out of the way the other Beckham progeny have been down the beach with Tana Ramsay of whom they uttered the dreadful word (at least to their mother) ‘Cool’.

Despite being her closest friend, Victoria is now feeling jealous of Ramsay who she has been advising on looks and where to shop in LA.

According to some other celebrity news sources a ‘friend’ (read as made up) has said that Posh ‘feels awful being jealous as Tana’s her closest friend, but Victoria’s hormones are all over the place at the moment.’

Best friends forever - because 37-year-olds really speak like that.

The most shocking thing about all this is the fact that Beckham is able to express her emotions. Proven to be a liar after denying having had a boob job for years until she let it slip that she’d in fact had enlargement and reduction procedures, it’s hard to believe anything that comes out of her mouth – that’s if it can muster the strength to be heard through that sphincter-like pout.

She is without doubt one of the most desperate celebrities out there and her lack of any discernible talent apart from pouting and standing awkwardly proves how shallow the celebrity world can be.

What are we seeing here? Is this a close up of Victoria Beckham's solitary brain cell or did her boob job go horribly wrong?

While other stars such as Daryl Hannah are being arrested for trying to save the environment and Alicia Silverstone is campaigning for animal rights, poor little Victoria Beckham is suffering with a bit of a back problem and raging jealousy over another woman’s looks.

There have been rumours about a planetary population cull and if there were nominations going then Beckham should definitely top the list followed swiftly by Lady Gaga. Neither of these so called celebs serve any purpose whatsoever. They are not intelligent enough to be entertaining which is ultimately what a celebrity should be about.

Actually, that is quite entertaining.

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Read about Beckham’s hair loss tragedy, her bodily obsession, her stupid royal wedding look and more on her ridiculous boob job.

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