Rebecca Black is pulled out of school because her song is shit

Internet one-hit-wonder Rebecca Black has apparently come under attack at her school where bullies have taunted her over the YouTube video Friday in which the nasally and largely uninspiring ‘singer’ repeats herself to such an extent that even Hitler would have been impressed with her brainwashing techniques.

Even the most disciplined minds would find it hard to shut out the mantra-like Friday and Black’s monotone, sinusoid delivery only adds to the painful, lifeless droning. Listening to the song her parents had penned and funded for her to be an internet superstar is akin to having your brain repeatedly pecked by a flock of rabid seagulls wearing Day-Glo vests with black and white spirals emblazoned on the front while shouting random days of the week at you with megaphones.

Come to think of it, Hitler and his cronies had nothing on Rebecca Black and her parents.

Adolf Hitler

Hitler wanted to be a water colorist but his parents forced him into genocide.

So we’ve established that the song is as weak as the incredibly average Black who looks awkward and gawky in the video; a dull, girl-next-door type that isn’t quite as attractive as you’re meant to think but who does prove the saying, “if you throw enough shit it’ll eventually stick,” but why all the outrage?

The story of Rebecca Black’s monumental rise to fame rides on the back of the song (using the term loosely) Friday, a horrible foray into inoffensive pop mediocrity which is so repetitive that it’s nigh on impossible not to find yourself cursing, or even wanting to kill the person who showed you the advert-infested YouTube page in the first place.

Rebecca Black

Rebecca Black is eager to duet with Justin Bieber. The words 'hot furnace', 'two birds' and 'one stone' spring to mind.

Black’s parents paid for their daughter to live her ‘dream’ by funding the video and paying producers to create the track for her. The song first appeared early in 2011 and has since notched up over 20 million hits on the popular video site – a boon for Ark Music, another Christian music label funded by the self-righteous, god-loves-us-you-scum, Christian Reich.

[adsense]Sadly for Rebecca, the repercussions have been brutal. The world at large, it seems, are not Rebecca Black fans. Watching the video it’s understandable why as it represents nothing of any quality or entertainment and amounts to nothing more than cheap bubble gum which threatens to wrap around the intestines of our soul should we swallow it.

The current schoolyard nonsense sounds like much ado about nothing and sounds more like a publicity stunt to raise awareness for the song and/or christianity.

In a way Rebecca Black is a pitiable character; a girl you wouldn’t recognise in the street such is her normality, who has been thrust into the spotlight by avaricious parents who belligerently push harder and harder, failing to see the toll all this pressure could take on their daughter.

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse: an abject lesson in why children shouldn't be pushed too hard.

A quick glance at Amy Winehouse, another star who burned out too soon, should be warning enough of the dangers. She wanted open a singing school, ride horses and raise a family but her father Mitch Winehouse pushed her into the limelight and has since ridden on her success. We all know how that story played out.

There is nothing to suggest that Black will suffer the same end and in many ways, it is not her fault that she’s in this position. The world makes us believe that we can be rock stars, actors or famous millionaires but for every star there are a million disappointed wannabes. There is a little yet powerful word which we can use when we don’t want to do something – NO.

Mrs Doyle

You will, you will, you will, you will, you will, you will, you will, you will, you will, you will, you will, you will, you will. NO.

Clearly Rebecca Black isn’t familiar with it otherwise she wouldn’t be confronted by constant abuse and her greedy parents wouldn’t be having to move her into homeschooling. For a teenage girl, especially one as dull as Black, the idea of fame and fortune is a common dream but the reality of it is uglier than any comments or threats levelled at Rebecca Black and her insipid Friday.

Please leave your thoughts on Rebecca Black, her parents or this latest attack on her by leaving a comment.

Read about other people famous for nothing like Kelly Osbourne.

images: hangout.altsounds.com, telegraph.co.uk, flixter.com, cnn.com