Despite having already got them out at length in a previous movie (Alpha Dog) actress Olivia Wilde was clearly unhappy with her chest worts, as in her latest film The Change-Up she chose to wear pasties (sinister flesh-tone nipple caps) whilst she gets a dirty frolic on during nude scenes with Ryan Reynolds.
However, during post-production it was noticed that the pasties were still obvious and so Wilde was sent an email asking her to select from a choice of seven, an accurate CGI nipple set to replicate her own and to be applied digitally. It makes you wonder what else isn’t authentic in films and photographs.
“And I got to approve the nipples!,” Wilde told Canadian newspaper the Toronto Sun. “They sent me an email saying, ‘Please review nipple cover shot one through seven and decide which one is most like the original.’ I don’t know what he (producer) was using as source material… but I think it’s pretty close.”
We already know that the amount of digital manipulation used in glossy periodicals is bordering on preposterous. In fact, only yesterday two L’Oreal ads featuring Julia Roberts and model Christy Turlington made the news after being banned in the UK for being too flawless.
If they can digitally sew new nips on Olivia Wilde, surely that means that they can replace little breasts with larger ones (and vice versa) and digitally transplant a man’s jiggly gubbins onto a different body? Are they already doing that? And then where will it all end? Will Tom Cruise be towering above the rest of the cast in his next movie (without playing Gulliver)? Will technologies erase the age lines from actors’ faces? Help them drop a few kilos from their overpaid asses? Will Madonna be able to act?!
Imagine it’s your first day at work and you are asked to pick out and manipulate a selection of what you think might be appropriate diginipples for Olivia Wilde. They’d never believe you down the pub. And how do we know whether Wilde selected the most authentic duo? Maybe she decided to enhance them herself and picked a cheeky pair she liked the look of that bore no resemblance to the real thing? I mean if she had a nice pair of blouse raspberries, she’d be getting them out, right? Actually, they looked fine to me in Alpha Dog.
I had no intention of watching The Change-up (“a hilarious tale of two friends who trade lives but keep the same personalities”, apparently), but I’m curious now. I want to see those nipples.
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Images: icie2.com, google.com, hotflick.net, appleblog.blog.hu.