Sick Celebrities


Madonna to release another signature scent


Not to be outdone by her clone Lady Gaga, Madonna is upping the stakes by flooding the market with her very own ‘signature scent’ according to reports in the webloids today.

Having been an ‘international business woman’ for decades our dear old Madge is now turning her moniker to perfumes and while some sites have expressed their surprise that Madonna didn’t release her own fragrance earlier in her career, I’ve always been of the opinion that she released her signature scent with every new single, album, book or film she shat out.


A first glance at Madonna's perfume. Very classy looking and comes with a free FM radio so you can smell like her while listening to her excellent songs.

Last month she released the ‘Material Girl‘ range with her official progeny Lourdes, a line of products with her name on them designed to magnetise the pocket money of young girls into her own bank account so that she can continue to purchase sacrificial virgins from third world countries to make herself look younger.


Madonna looking young and healthy without the need for plastic surgery.

Of course she has never once had surgery and it is in fact her secret cabal that keeps her looking young. Or something like that.

Anyway, her forthcoming perfume is being developed by Coty, a fragrance giant that I’ve never heard of. The deal is still in the balance at the moment which is terribly exciting and no doubt there will be prayers and hopes hinging on the deal being completed so that girls of all ages can douse themselves in alcoholic pot-pourri and be as generic as the progenitor herself.

Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce have already beaten Madonna to the punch with their own fragrances called Glow and Heat respectively, both also conjured up by Coty.

It’s also highly possible that the fragrances will be tested on animals, not because they’re vain and want to smell like a ropey old tart, but because apparently spraying poison into their eyes is a good indication of how a human will react to it.


Actually, looking at Madonna is not unlike having poison sprayed in the eyes.

If a human is stupid enough to spray perfume in their eyes they deserve all the misery they get. Idiots. And that goes for the people who think that animal testing is acceptable. Surely products for humans should be tested on humans? No?

Having read the headlines this morning I thought Madge had ventured into the world of porn but alas I was mistaken. Oh hang on. Yeah she did try that with that god-awful Body of Evidence and her risible Sex book.


Madonna looking for her soul.

You can look forward to splashing on a bit of Madonna’s stinking juice should the deal go ahead and probably pay through the nose for it. Not in a “I’ve lost my septum through cocaine addiction” kind of way, just a “Oh dear there goes my soul which is helping Madonna pay off her debt to Satan” kind of way.


With only a few years left Madonna is trying to make sure her retirement is a comfortable one.

Or you can see it for what it is, Madonna looking to prolong her career and income any way she can, even though she’s a relic of a dying industry which is going to burn out when the stupid people run out of money to buy its asinine goods.

Please, splash a bit of musk in the comment box to let us know your thoughts on Madonna’s latest venture.

Read about Madonna’s comments on Lady Gaga, her movie directorial debut, Lady Gaga copying everyone in sight, falling off her piano stool and best of all falling off her own shoes at a photo shoot.




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