Sick Celebrities


Madonna New Film and She Still Denies Surgery – It’s the Kabbalah Apparently.


Doesn’t Madonna look fresh-faced these days all of a sudden, as if by magic? At the Venice Film Festival, the 53-year-old pitched up looking no more than five years older than the so-called chubby Madonna so desperate to be famous no matter what it took back in the early- to mid-eighties.

Her desperate need for attention has been unremitting, although she lost a pound or few from her frame along the years, but piled them onto her ego.

Madonna is back in the public eye – which means she must want something from us. Oh yes, she is promoting her new film based on the relationship between Edward and Mrs Simpson called W.E. Which probably stands for ‘weak ending’, although it would certainly be on no surprise if it also had a W.B. and a W.M.

She arrived on a speedboat (LOL) wearing a gray frock with red butterflies on that some designer had made just for little old her, and teamed it with red shoes and red sunglasses (even though it was dark – the tit). All very newsworthy stuff.

But if us in our pedestrian gray office jobs didn’t have stars like Madonna and Lady Gaga to false idolize, imagine how insipid our pointless little lives would be. I don’t know about you, but if I don’t get my weekly fix of Hello! Magazine (which should be renamed ‘Why?’), the week just seems to drag on. I like nothing more than to look at all the pictures of glamorous people I don’t know wearing different outfits in foreign locations I’ve never heard of and will definitely never be able to afford to go, whilst I gorge myself on cheap custard creams and a fat coke before I start processing invoices. I mean… what a life!

Madonna before and after no surgery. I can't wait to look younger than I do now in ten years time.

Since the music industry spat Lady Gaga out through its disgusting and smelly vagina, giving egotistic celebrity haters a new false idol to anti-worship, it’s been easy to forget all about Madonna. And then she brought out another film, (we all know that Madonna and films is a bad mix) and up she pops again in the media, looking like she spent more time directing her own face than she did on the film itself.

Why people are surprised when a squillionaire who can only function when they are in the public eye looks good, when they have access to the world’s best cosmetic surgeons et al, is beyond me and my ilk. People shouldn’t say ‘doesn’t she look good for her age’, they should be saying ‘didn’t they do a good job on Madonna?’

Of course, Madonna knows that her fanbase consists of undereducated know-nothings who wouldn’t know a great piece of music if it got up and gave them liposuction sans anaesthetic, so she vehemently denies having had any surgery done at all. Instead she blames her stupid religion of choice – the kabbalah – for saving her skin and making her wrinkle free despite galloping towards 60 with a ten-year-old boyfriend.

Apparently the kabbalah teaches beauty from within. LOL. Kabbollocks more like. This coming from possibly the vainest woman on the planet (Lady Gaga [always happy to emulate Madonna] comes close second.) who has spent the last 25 years or more rubbing her desperate celebrity minge in the general public’s face and screaming ‘Look at me! Love me!’ (Possibly due to her diminutive size. Short asses are known for their massive compensatory egos and for not being able to reach the cookie shelf.)

Cosmetic surgeons generally concur that the material girl has had extensive surgery performed on her face. And photos abound on the internet that make face lifts look highly likely. In fact, she’s probably undergone more ops than Michael Jackson. Not that it matters. If she wants to spend all her money on kabbalah surgery that’s up to her.  Easy come, easy go,

Madonna Denies Having Surgery to Make her Look like Peter Cushing.

Madonna has a lot to prove with this second stab at writing and direction. Her first film ‘Filth and Wisdom’ was shit. But then Madonna and films have always been a mismatch. Her past acting attempts made Pinnochio look like he’d spent forty years under Stanislavsky’s wing. She must shudder as she remembers the awful Desperately Seeking Susan, the pathetic Who’s That Girl, and the utterly dreadful Body of Evidence. Oh and Shanghai Surprise which almost put an end to Sean Penn’s career. But she likes to try her hands at stuff does Madge – like a bored rich kid playing with her toys: Hollywood and the music industry. I imagine that Madonna has always wanted to capture the one thing she can’t have – an intelligent audience. Something she will never achieve with a back catalog of songs akin to aural Haribo.

I hope that this next foray into theatrics will pay off, purely because W.E. features the wonderful Andrea Riseborough (star of The Devil’s Whore). I hope she doesn’t become soiled by Hollywood and all its wretched demons. People with genuine talent should stay away from the pop music industry and Hollywood.

Has Madonna had more surgery than a patchwork quilt? Maybe she was born with it. Or maybe it’s the kabbalah.

Peter Cushing.

Personally, if I was really rich and intelligent, I’d avoid any organised religion that made me look like I’d just come around from an anaesthetic having just had extensive facial surgery.

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