Sick Celebrities


Justin Bieber's new haircut epitomizes excessive hype


Ok so having a new haircut isn’t a disease but surely the hype that surrounds Justin Bieber is becoming one. Don’t get me wrong; I have nothing against him personally because frankly I don’t know enough about him to like or dislike him.

I’m of the opinion that he’s the face of a money making publicity scheme set up by his god (and cash) loving mother, and a well oiled music company machine which is adept at turning out teenage sensations every once in a while to pump a few hundred million dollars into the war chest before moving onto pastures new, leaving the fraught and broken child prodigy behind for the rehab centres of this world to fix and return to society a more humble creature.

I seem unable to move these days without falling over a Justin Bieber headline, and while I truly hope the kid is happy living what must be an incredibly exciting life for a 16 year old, I’d really like my life back and not have his every move forced down my throat.

If I wanted to be force fed crap I’d eat at McDonalds.

And there is a comparison there. Both Bieber and McMurder are products designed to make us part with our cash for little of value in return. A McCrap burger has about the same nutritional value as a brick (maybe even less), while Bieber’s songs are about as spiritually fulfilling as sticking knitting needles in my ears and smashing my face into a car windshield.

So he has a new haircut. Big deal.

His life is like something from Pokemon, with little kids vying to collect every possible thing he does for some sort of fanatical one-upmanship over their rival Bieber fans. Seeing Justin Bieber’s new haircut before other fans somehow lifts them to godlike status and worthy of his hand in marriage. That goes for both genders.

Frankly, I don’t care if he has a new haircut or if he suddenly grows an arm out of his nose; people should respect that he needs some privacy otherwise in a few years we’ll all be writing about Justin Bieber’s new self-harm wounds or 13th drug overdose after licking cocaine off  a hooker’s cleavage.

Actually, that’d be fun to write about.

Anyway, please share your thoughts about the excessive hype surrounding Justin Bieber, or post hate mail by leaving a comment.

Read more about self-harm, drug overdose related things, Big Mac ingredients, Bieber fans attack Selena Gomez and Esperanza Spalding.


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