The device to replace masturbation in backward teenagers – Justin Bieber – has made the headlines – AGAIN – and this time it’s not because of his gay girl’s hair but by crashing his big man car in Los Angeles yesterday.
Unfortunately, the youngster, who denies he is a lesbian, was unhurt as the collision was way too minor to put an end to his career as Ellen DeGeneres’ daughter because the ‘crash’ was actually more of a far less newsworthy slight prang.
Most ten-year-olds shouldn’t even be allowed the keys to a skateboard but due to the inconsequential Justin Bieber’s phenomenal success as a sex aid for dry-genitaled little girl still not old enough to know what constitutes attraction or sex appeal, fate has deemed it that he should be driving around LA like a ponce in a black Ferrari usually aimed at another age group of man desperate to prove their virility.
And it’s not the first time that Bieber’s driving has attracted police attention. He was previously stopped by cops who thought it suspicious that the pop tartlette and a pre-pubic friend should be driving around in an adult’s car in which their feet were unable to reach the pedals. That time it was a Rolls Royce convertible. Must be like watching a squirrel try to fly a jumbo jet.
Bieber recently appeared at MTV’s Video Music Awards where he dressed as a lesbian to win best video for a catchy nursery rhyme with a dubious longevity.
Apparently there were no signs of damage to Bieber’s Ferrari or the Honda Civic that was also involved, although apparently the Ferrari was said to be embarrassed to be involved with a cheap shopping car.
It’s hard to choose between Bieber and Lady Gaga. Bieber is probably the lesser of the two evils because he’s not yet old enough to know better. Gaga sold her sold to the devil whereas Bieber’s parents must have sold him to the record label. Nice folks.
Whoever wins, they are both offensive products of a PR machine so well oiled it could polish a turd and have its first album go platinum and be living in a Beverley Hills mansion whilst it drives around in a twit’s car thinking it is really talented and worthy, within a week.
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Images: justinbieber.poztmo.com, zimbio.com, fixya.comTags: ellen degeneres Justin Bieber lady gaga