Justin Bieber has egg on his face: Belieber army mobilises on Twitter

Having received the shocking news that Mariah Carey has been allowed to produce progeny, fairly successfully, it was somewhat of a relief to find out that Justin Bieber had been pelted with eggs during a performance in Sydney on Friday. I felt karma owed me a favour.

The harrowing eggy incident, at Acer Arena, prompted the usual glut of pathetic idle threats from Bieber fans, who are worryingly almost into their hundreds now.

A reconstruction of the events that led to Justin Bieber getting egg on his face

Justin Bieber takes one in the face for his fans

One such irked fan tweeted the following: “Dear person who threw eggs at @justinbieber in Sydney, you now have over #9millionbeliebers after you, be afraid! We go harder than hard!”

Now I’m no coward, but there ain’t nothing more terrifying (other than the idea of being the midwife at Carey’s recent evacuations) than being threatened by a bunch of hysterical, idiotic, generic nine-year-old girls, who have absolutely no hope in hell of ever finding out your identity.

Terrifying Beliebers gather their wepaons

Beliebers mobilise via Twitter in their war against face-eggers. Terrifying.

Harder than hard?! LMFAO! These sociopathic midgets who aren’t even old enough to boast a pubic hair might grow up to regret this laughable behavior. Although the likelihood of that happening is dubious. They’ll never grow up.

Justin Bieber has lesbian hair

It’s not the first time that these satanic little inconsequential Bieber-obsessed micro-tarts have demonstrated their stupidity. It wasn’t so long ago they were issuing death threats (written in crayon) to some poor young girl that the irritating lesbian-haired child star was rumoured to be dating.

Issuing anonymous threats through Twitter? How very brave and mature of you.

I hope the US military are on stand by, in case any of these flat-chested diminutive morons carry out this sinister threat. You can have someone’s eye out with a peashooter I hear.

US Marines fresh from DNA testing Osama Bin Laden's corpse are on standby in case of a Belieber attack

Carefully share your thoughts on this latest episode of Justin Bieber’s fascinating life (so as not to upset those militant nine year olds) by leaving a comment.

Read about Bieber’s alleged assault charges; his award rival Esperanza Spalding attacked by his moron fans; his girlfriend Selena Gomez is also attacked by moron fans and how he vows not to derail like other teen stars. Damn.

images: joshywashington.wordpress.com; asiancorrespondent.com; blog.usnavyseals.com; idolator.com