At last – Jeff Goldblum has split (hopefully acrimoniously) with his 26-year-old girlfriend, Lydia Hearst-Shaw, leaving the coast clear for older, classier and all together more buxom women to start stalking the hot old Jew.
Us Blumbells always found the couple highly unsuitable and were dismayed by the cerebral actor’s clichéd choice of younger model girlfriend, when he could have easily had his pick from thousands of older, curvier women with large breasts. We expected more from the Blumster.
Goldblum has already been married twice: once to that bitch Geena Davis back in the late eighties; and before that some other actress, Patricia Gaul, who we’ve never even heard of.
‘Blum is most famous for his starring roles in blockbusters such as Jurassic Park (where he fearlessly outran some computer graphics) and Independence Day (where he fearlessly outran some computer graphics); and in eighties remake of the sci-fi classic, The Fly, where he met that bitch, Geena Davis. He also took on quirky roles in The Life Aquatic and The Tall Guy. Actually despite playing in some pretty disastrous movies, Goldblum has managed to retain an air of cool and delicious aloofness, always playing interesting characters. He’s no Tom Cruise. Thankfully.
Ex-girlfriend Lydia Hearst-Shaw, is the great-granddaughter of a publishing magnate and has accomplished wearing clothes for both Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar. She has also done some acting and will star alongside Sienna Miller in a film entitled Two Jacks which will be released next year.
The couple are citing their 32-year age difference as the reason for the split.
Relationships with large age gaps often flounder before they even get started. You don’t always feel like helping your wife with her homework after a long day at the film studio. Having to explain to the younger partner why it’s unacceptable to play with dolls at the dinner table can also shake the stability of the relationship. Even a gap as small as five years can potentially ruin a relationship. It helps if both partners are in a similar place in life. A beslippered forty something who realises that money and success aren’t really that important and would prefer a Werther’s Original to a line of coke might have problems with a twenty-year-old who thinks they are the first person ever to have ambition and wants to be famous, famous, famous, whatever it takes. Either the younger partner needs to be exceptionally precocious or the older, either ridiculously immature or have saintly patience.
I visualise Goldblum finding himself a more mature woman, someone with an already established career, a buxom journalist for example with a penchant for lofty Jews.
If you are Jeff Goldblum, why not leave a dirty message in our big, wet busty comment box below.
Read about other celebrities and their splits like Keira Knightley, Courteney Cox, Taylor Swift and Eva Longoria.
images: bostonherald.com, malehotties.blogspot.com, screencrave.com
Caption: A very bad combination