Sick Celebrities


Heather Locklear’s Boobs or Kelly Osbourne’s Mouth – Which is bigger?


Kelly Osbourne – famous for being the overweight daughter of ex-wildman and 70s rocker, Ozzy Osbourne – has been gobbing off again, this time turning her barbarous tongue on neo-royal, Kate Middleton. Continuing her current theme of slagging off other women in the public eye, she has this time issued her sage-like advice to the future Queen of England.

Earlier this week she slated long-time rival and arch-nemesis, whose look she seems to be emulating these days – Christina Aguilera, who like a lot of women has struggled to lose the fat that she piled on after giving birth to her son. Osbourne called her a “fat bitch” during the filming of E’s Fashion Police. The pair have been publically catfighting for years, firing stupid remarks et al at one another in a manner that can only be described as puerile. If there was one thing more shameful than catfighting girls, it’s spoiled, rich catfighting girls eye-scratching and handbag chucking in public.

Kelly Osbourne: daughter of Ozzy, in spat with Christina Aguilera.

This time Osbourne was appearing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, when she told him that if she was the future monarch of the British Isles, she wouldn’t recycle her wardrobe, as Kate Middleton has. By  ‘recycle’ she is referring to photos of the future Queen that appeared in UK redtop rags showing her wearing the same outfits more than once. Disgusting behaviour for a future Queen.

“Well I’m sorry but if I had that job I would only wear it once,” she said. “If I am going to be the future bloody Queen of England I’m going to wear that dress once because I’m giving up the rest of my life, all of my privacy, at least I can get a new dress every day.” A profound observation from the sagacious one.

The opinionated youngster seems happy to open her great clumsy mouth and expel foul draughts in the direction of anyone she deems a worthy target and appearing on any and every show that can fit her through the door. Something she recently accused UK Big Brother contestant Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace  of doing by speaking out about mutual friend Amy Winehouse’s death.

It strikes me that Osbourne is trying to reposition herself as a chubby adolescent Joan Rivers but without the biting sense of humour and witty retorts Rivers excels at, she comes across as just a desperate young woman flailing in a sea of people more talented than she is. Just because your dad is famous, doesn’t mean you can say anything you want. Having a big mouth is one thing, controlling what comes out of it, is another. Shut up Osbourne.

Heather Locklear - with her very newsworthy breasts.

Talking of big things, Heather Locklear’s boobs are currently courting controversy. That’s so boobs. The 50-year-old has been spotted sporting a rather large rack with the kind of cleavage you could park a six-berth yacht in, triggering speculation from media hungry for something to fill column inches that she may or may not have had a boob job. With so many people getting boob jobs these days, is it really necessary to report on each one? A man getting a boob job – that would be newsworthy; or a ten-year-old girl. That’s news. And judging by the age of models used in French Vogue recently, it’s only a matter of time.

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