It was only a matter of time before someone eventually came along to give Madonna a run for her money, as she hasn’t managed to shit out anything good since Ray of Light. And whilst we expected it to be someone more cleverly manipulative than the goddess herself, it turns out to be a snotty half-headed troll with an eye on Madge’s throne who will stop at nothing including outrageous copycatting in order to get there.
Whilst they say that imitation is the greatest form of flattery, it is also the most annoying form of shattery.
Madonna has been hawking her 53-year-old skeleton around the Venice Film Festival this past week, doing the obligatory rounds to promote her new film W.E., based on the life of Wallis Simpson.
Belgian magazine Le Soir reported that when asked about Lady Gaga, Lady Madonna purportedly replied “As for Lady Gaga, I have no comment on her obsessions related to me, because I do not know if it is based on something profound or superficial.”
This came just hours after footage of Queen Madge ungraciously accepted a fan’s gift of a hydrangea whilst her microphone was still switched on, was leaked like piss from a geriatric all over the internet. The squillionaire songstress smiled weakly and thanked the fan before turning to the person next to her and saying that she hated hydrangeas. The clip went viral, attracting a million hits within a millisecond or less. Or something like that.
Of the Gaga slight, Madonna’s PR’ist denied the quote, telling UK’s celebrity rag newspaper The Daily Mail “This is not true. Madonna did not say anything negative about Lady Gaga during her press conference.” However the news had already been spattered all over the internet like diarrhea cascading from a tardy pensioner.
Lady Gaga professes to be a huge fan of Madonna and has spent much of her short career emulating the eighties icon. You don’t have to look far on the internet to see images and footage of Gaga blatantly copycatting Madonna (not to mention a host of other female icons such as Bette Midler and most recently Annie Lennox.)
Their much publicised rivalry was sent up in an embarrassing skit they appeared in on Saturday Night Live two years ago, when they performed a catfight whilst dressed like cat burgling pole dancers.
“We’re both Italian-American women, we both started out in the New York underground scene – and we both became famous when we dyed our hair blonde. I think what Madonna and I share is that we’re both fearless, we both have a lot of nerve,” she burbled at the time of the skit.
The Queen of England and I are both British, we’ve both had brown hair and we both live in London. Wow – I am so like Elizabeth 2.
And then Gaga released her single Express Yourself, I mean Born This Way at the beginning of this year which bore so much resemblance to Madonna’s eighties hit Born This Way, sorry I meant Express Yourself that Madonna wondered how she herself had had the time to go into the recording studio to churn out yet another boring dance single, when she was already very busy dating children.
It seemed that anyone familiar with Madonna’s version of her own track noticed the blatant similarities immediately and a copy of the video of the Madgster performing the track was quickly posted on Madonna’s official YouTube page. But the Gagster was vehement in her denial that she had blatantly ripped off Express YourWay telling NME “I am not stupid enough to put out a record and be that moronic.” Well you are…because you kinda already did.
“I’m a songwriter. I’ve written loads of [shit] music. Why would I try to put out a song and think I’m getting one over on everybody?”
Later on The Tonight Show she told Jay Leno that Madonna & company had given the ripped-off Born Yourself her blessing. “I got an e-mail from her people and her, sending me their love and complete support on behalf of the single and if the queen says it shall be, then it shall be. [so there]” Cackled the manwitch. But Madonna’s people reportedly said that they were unaware that any such email existed.
When it came to the nefarious hydrangea incident Madonna’s PR folk said “No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers.”
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Images: ladygagaa.com, musicandgossipland.com, mybigmouthbog.com, aaronandandy.com.Tags: lady gaga Madonna