Sick Celebrities


Giuliana & Bill: Shocking IVF Series Update!


Reality TV ‘stars’ Giuliana and Bill Rancic are not taking no for an answer when it comes to reproducing and are already undertaking a third round of IVF treatment.

In the couple’s riveting show called simply Giuliana & Bill the F list celebrities are seen giving fertility treatment another go, despite having already said that they were going to take a year off from trying to conceive. What a plot, right! This is something Christopher Nolan could really get his teeth into.

Gruelling and upsetting as it may be to be unable to produce progeny when everyone else seems to be doing it, this is not ‘television’.  How did it get on television? The collective IQ of mankind is already at a desperate level and it’s surprising really that people are still willing to bring children into this dreadful world in any case, especially when this is what they have to look forward to: the television equivalent of watching your neighbours hang out their washing out through your bedroom window. What happened to escapism? Happily assuming that no one with a measurable IQ would watch this bunch of pixelated sausage dross anyway, the human race can just about live to fight another day, but it’s a concern.

Giuliana and Bill Rancic - too smug to conceive.

The problem seems to be that low-grade human beings are contributing far more to the gene pool than intelligent human beings that have reasoning skills, access to a vocabulary that doesn’t rely mainly on the names of footballers, celebrities and words such as ‘nice’,  and not just sensory motor skills. So many intelligent and educated people are choosing not to have children and instead focusing on a career and opting for an enjoyable life as a superior alternative, so that the declivity of the human race is more real than ever. Future generations will be made up of footballers, their coat hanger wives and reality TV stars. Frightening isn’t it?

Giuliana Rancic is a celebrity because...?

The media has turned from something that entertains us into something that tries to control our minds and lulls us into a dribbling coma where it attempts to bludgeon our intellect with a comedy hammer made from foam that makes a hilarious ‘boing’ sound when it makes contact with our cereberums.

Giuliana is a presenter on E! News – a celebrity news program and Bill was a contestant on The Apprentice. Major celebrity couple then. Up there with Angelina and Brad.

Guiliana and Bill Rancic - Who?

And much as I really give a shit about these nobodies from a reality tv show – the modern day equivalent of the (full) frontal lobotomy, even the nature of the program goes against nature itself. Nature has always had ways of keeping the population down. There are almost seven billion human beings in the world. That’s an awful lot of football fans and Hello! readers. If you can’t conceive then perhaps you just aren’t supposed to. Perhaps the gene pool is already grubby and polluted enough. Just a thought. Not everyone who wants kids can have them. Not everyone who wants to be famous, can be. Although reality TV and IVF  is trying to put an end to that.

Having a child in this manner when there are orphaned babies and children desperate for a family is as needless as buying a puppy from a breeder when there are so many of them in dogs homes who need love and rehoming. You can have a child, there are millions of them out there, waiting to be picked. All ages, all colors, all waiting. We as a species don’t have to reproduce. Some of us will, some of us won’t. That’s what nature is: chaotic.

No it's not Brad and Angelina's family portrait - these be orphans.

Anyway, Sunday’s exciting episode opens with a long shot of Denver. We pan in on the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine, where in his office Dr Schoolcraft, having just finished signing off some important paperwork buzzes his busty receptionist and asks her to send in his next clients: the very famous Giuliana and Bill. ‘We haven’t had this much hope in a long time, so this is very, very nice,’ says Giuliana in the kind of scintillating dialogue that wouldn’t look out of place during the closing sequence of a Tarantino flick. It’s too much like one of the final episodes of 24 for me. I just can’t endure the suspense.  I won’t give the ending away. I don’t want to ruin it for the fans.

Logie Baird must be turning in his grave.

The people that watch this program are probably the very same people that are boycotting Dancing With Stars for featuring the lovely Chaz Bono – Cher’s son – for having not been born a boy, because they consider him unnatural.

Even if we have twins, we’re having more kids,’ cackles Giuliana. ‘We’re going to need a frequent IVF-er card.’

Oh great, more celebrity progeny who think they have a congenital right to celebrity status shitting all over our television sets.

The couple have been attempting to reproduce since 2009. You know what guys, sorry but God says ‘no’.

It’s easy to sympathize with a couple desperate to have children, but it’s impossible to sympathize with a pair of smug gits who use that as an opportunity to make money and increase their public profile.

Crap show. Crap people. Will probably have crap kids.

If you would like to comment on how thoughtless the writer is because the couple just want to have a little baby blah blah blah, stick something generic in the comment box below.


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