Downright Fugly Gene Simmons of KISS, he of long tongue fame, has famously bedded in excess of 4000 women – according to him, anyway – and is living proof that it doesn’t matter how hideous you are, if you are rich and/or famous, there are always enough tragic people who will stoop low enough to jump into bed with you – just because you earn a lot of bread or have a memorable face.
These 4000 odd transgressions (or conquests, depending on who you speak to) seem to have finally taken a toll on the wrinkly old rocker’s long-time partner, Shannon Tweed, and the stresses of living with a serial adulterer have finally begun to show.
The long-term showbiz couple recently appeared on The Today Show, where cracks in the 28-year relationship which rivalled the cracks in Simmons’ face were clearly visible to the human eye. With the new season of Simmons’ Family Jewels about to be screened, the tiff could of course be just another cheap trick to drum up enthusiasm and increase audience figures.
Tweed appears livid but tries to remain calm after seeing photos of Simmons with two bimbos either side of him, like a pair of betitted book ends trying to stop an ancient tome from falling over. Both clearly impressed by his repugnantly long tongue, old woman’s haircut and face like a pensioner’s handbag that has been street-fighting with a gang of pre-menstrual Rottweilers.
What is it that throws young girls into the arms of hideous old men? Is it some primitive urge to offer their gaping nubile loins to someone who has achieved success? And what do they hope to gain from these liaisons?
The young and beautiful/old and rich combination is as old as ‘them thar hills’ and it’s generally assumed that she – the younger one – is in the wrong, as she is “only with him for the money”, but in reality, he – the older one – is probably not with the young bimbo for her personality, intellect or the conversation. He’s prepared to forsake charisma in favour of appearance; she’s prepared to forego attraction in exchange for money and status. It’s a business arrangement, more than a relationship. They both get something they want.
Shannon has put up with Simmons’ womanising for quarter of a century but in fairness she knew what she was getting in to. If she’s chosen to overlook these transgressions all this time then she shouldn’t really be surprised but is that the kind of role model she wants for their children?
The Tweed and Simmons family feud may be just for the cameras’ sake in order to promote their new season, but if it’s real then hopefully Tweed will find herself a decent real man who is able to satisfy all her needs and who doesn’t get a kick from being in the presence of shallow tarts just to make himself feel better about his aging body and ugly face. Looks to me like Simmons couldn’t produce enough jizz to lubricate a contact lens.
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