Charlie Sheen in 36-hour drug binge

Charlie Sheen

Hollywood’s favorite hell-raiser and star of the US sitcom Two And Half Men, Charlie Sheen, has thankfully gone into rehab after a 36-hour binge of drugs and drink that involved various porn ‘actresses’.

During the binge he admitted to one of the ‘actresses’ that he had lost all his teeth and that he had had them replaced with porcelain veneers. However, his continued drug-use also destroyed the veneers and he has now had those replaced with gold replicas, according to a reliable source – a 22-year-old porn star who partied with him at his home in LA.

Dodgy actress Kacey Jordan admitted that she and Sheen had had “quick sex”, and during the quick sex, the actor had complained to her about the state of his teeth.“All his teeth have fallen out from partying. He kept saying ‘f***** porcelain teeth… they’re crap’,” according to the erudite source. “He wouldn’t say why, but we all know it’s because of the drug use,” she continued.

Ever the romantic Sheen ordered $20,000 of cocaine that he smoked from a pipe whilst they all enjoyed wholesome movies. After their meaningful liaison he then issued Jordan with a check for over $30,000 and invited her to be part of his “porn family” in a house he intends to purchase and then inhabit with lots of his talented porn actress friends. So, a little bit like a brothel then.

Sheen also punched holes in a wall and screamed when one of the other actresses damaged his car as she was leaving the soiree and that she feared another ‘plaza incident’ according to the blonde source.

Sheen is one of TV’s highest-paid stars, earning a staggering $2million for every episode of Two And A Half Men that he appears in.

A spokesman for the star claims he is suffering from a hernia and said the pain he was in was caused from laughing too much. Although he later sent an SMS from rehab that read ‘I’m fine. People don’t seem to get it. Guy can’t have a great time and do his job also? Bunch of turds.’

image: entertainment.msn.co.nz