Sick Celebrities


David Beckham loves the number seven because that's as high as he can count


I’m not sure whether it’s because there’s a pledge drive by whoever pulls the celebrity strings to pollute the gene pool with their excessive number of progeny, or that they just love riding each other bareback. Whatever the case, David Beckham has told Ellen DeGeneres that he and Victoria (his stick thin, wife – and that’s just her IQ) would happily welcome another baby, even though Posh has just had one taken out of her womb via the sunroof again.

The fact that all of her children have been delivered via caesarian section speaks volumes about the couple. Firstly her cervix must be so small that only maggots, microbes and ringworm can travel through it, which also casts aspersions over David’s manhood. That’s probably why he plays football.


Don't lie David, we all know its socks.

The decline of mankind is undoubtedly due to several things, but do low intelligence celebs like Posh and Becks really need to keep contributing to its over-burdened numbers? Before long we’ll be chin deep in monosyllabic retards craving fame and recognition through whatever medium they can afford. Oh wait…

At a time when over population is taking its toll on the planet’s resources and celebrity cults are turning the proletariat masses into gibbering sycophants, surely the last thing we need is another Beckham for weak willed morons (other than its parents) to drool over.


The Beckhams. So Sexy. And by 'sexy' I mean 'retarded and desperate'.

All this talk stems from David Beckham’s fixation with the number seven. It’s his only daughter’s middle name; his old playing number for Manchester United; his IQ score and the amount of brain cells he has left.

Victoria meanwhile is back on the fashion hamster wheel, thinking that she’s making a vital contribution to society with her animal unfriendly garb and ‘prestige’ name. And she’s right in part, but only the bit where she’s a good indication of how not to be unless your ambition in life is to be a worthless whore who will sell itself for any slice of fame it can get.


Victoria Beckham and her entourage return home after a day of shopping for baby clothes.

After some unrigorous training on an exercise bike and living on a diet of three spinach leaves a day to get her ‘figure’ back, Posh said recently, “It’s nice to be back in fashionable clothing.”


Must have had someone write that for her.


Victoria Beckham in fashionable clothing. Nice.

Anyway, hopes here at CWD are that they will be unable to bring any more pointless sacks of screaming, pissing skin into the world before an international embargo is placed on the amount of children a family can have. You might disagree so why not splash your man-sauce-thoughts over our comment gene pool below.

Read about David Beckham and the alleged prostitute, Harper Seven Beckham’s arrival, Victoria Beckham’s vanity reaching new frontiers, her vag envy over Tana Ramsay and starving herself to lose baby body.


Back to top