David and Victoria Beckham, the dimwitted ball kicker and unchallenged first lady of vacuousness and famous clothes wearer have squeezed another youngster into the world, despite the unanimated Victoria having hips the width of a small boy.
Harper Seven Beckham boldly fought her way out of her untalented mother via the sunroof on Sunday morning, at Cedars Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles.
“I am so proud and excited to announce the birth of our daughter Harper Seven Beckham,” blubbed David on Facebook. “She weighed 7lbs 10oz and arrived at 7.55 this morning, here in LA. Victoria is doing really well and her brothers are delighted to have a baby sister xx.”
A spokesperson for the Beckhams tweeted the following:
“David & Victoria Beckham are delighted to announce the birth of their daughter.
“Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz are excited to welcome their new baby sister to the family.”
The insipid couple have already spat three progeny into the world: Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz, aged 11, eight and five respectively and all male.
Last week David Beckham was enthusing about the tsunami of pink that had already inundated the family’s home since Victoria found out she was finally going to give birth to a precious little princess she could dress up like an ickle tiny her. Chances are the infant is already practising her obstreperous pout, permanent expression of gormlessness and wearing designer killer heels, with matching diaper.
Regarding the naming of the baby, it is thought that the couple may have named her after stuck up fashion periodical for bland women with too much time and money, Harper’s Bazaar. It could also come from the author of To Kill a Mocking Bird Harper Lee, but that would involve at least one of them reading something that doesn’t have glossy pages nor is laminated. Don’t want to cast aspersions but… unlikely then.
The child’s seemingly unusual middle name was probably taken from an episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza decides he wants to name his baby after his favourite player’s shirt number. David’s first shirt number at Manchester United was also the number ‘seven’.
Fellow Spice Girls were quick to send very personal and profoundly sentimental congratulatory words to the pair via Twitter, it being the ideal platform for people whose vocabulary is limited to several words and perfect for those people who want everything they do to be done publicly.
Bland blond Emma Bunton, who in real life, had stupidity not intervened, should be paring the dead skin from the pungent feet of fat rich women as she gave them pedicures tweeted ‘Big kiss @victoriabeckham can’t wait to meet your gorgeous little girl!’.
Whilst Mel B, who back in the real world, if a music industry executive hadn’t played Henry Higgins (or is that Dr Frankenstein?) and turned five unremarkable young nobodies into a saleable product, would be handing out fliers outside a generic nightclub in Tenerife, tweeted ‘congrats!!! Yippeee another spice baby is born…’
Yippee indeed. Another Beckham whelp sees the light of day. A living dolly is born.
If you’d like to congratulate the Beckhams for reproducing again, or would like to comment on this article, you can deliver your thoughts into the comments ward below which is currently dilated to six centimetres:
Images: popsugar.com, livingdoll.buzznet.com, blog.9.com.ua, wallpaperbase.com.Tags: Victoria Beckham