Charlie Sheen embarrasses himself over Mila Kunis rant

Charlie Sheen’s latest live rant focuses on the increasingly popular Mila Kunis and his devious plot to have her move in with him and the ‘goddesses’ at his Sober Valley Lodge  in Sherman Oaks.

Some call him troubled while others, like me, call him pathetic, and publicly declaring a desire to screw someone is about as childish and desperate as it gets. His behaviour is that of a spoilt child who thinks he can have everything he wants.

Through the Vapid Baguette of Bullshit / Failure Is The Option which is shambling across the States like an injured, limping, pungent destitute, Sheen has spread the word about his machinations when he told his latest audience: “Here’s the good news – my goddesses have already f**king approved her. She’s pre-approved!

Charlie Sheen is looking better these days

“I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila f**king Kunis. If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t, trust me, you’re still f**king winning, you’re still winning at that moment.”

And the plot thickens as the ageing, greying misogynist explains: “You know what I’m gonna do? I’m going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes. I’m going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. A super f**king hot thief named Mila Kunis. ‘Mila, please, we have a warehouse full of your favourite s**t for you to steal in Sherman Oaks’.”

Very intelligent Charlie and I’m sure many teenage boys will be very impressed with your vocal effluent but anyone with an IQ of double figures will see you’re just being a petulant show-off with no respect for women, as proved by the fact you have to pay them to keep you company.

And she doesn’t have a Facebook page.

His previous attempt to juggle three women backfired when his estranged wife Brooke Mueller moved in for a while; the whole thing ending in complete disaster.

“I tried f**king three. It doesn’t work,” boasted the toothless John.

He did add that: “A warlock can manage so many goddesses.”

But only if you pay for them, right Charlie?

Please share your thoughts on Sheen’s latest foul mouthed tirade by leaving a comment.

Read about Charlie bombing on his opening night; changing the plot because failure is an option; losing his teeth; police raid and #winning recipe for disaster.


5 thoughts on “Charlie Sheen embarrasses himself over Mila Kunis rant

  1. Charlie Sheen may be sinking to a new “bottom” as he becomes addicted to sex and celebrity….and here is an article by sober author Jane Velez-Mitchell: Addict Nation: Charlie Sheen For President of the United States of Addicition. Article at

  2. Wow your hate is vicious, take a breathe it is not good for your guy is joking is just an actor, granted you don’t like his somewhat tacky humor..but it is not the end of the day..what will you do now ? Kill yourself because it is too much to handle Charlie Sheen and his careful you could have a stroke at care too is short life can be beautiful also. Peace and maybe ‘winning’ if you try very hard (for you very very hard

  3. I thought that was kind of cute actually. He’s offering to buy her everything her heart desires and she can steal it from his house.

    That’s not gross, it’ s just an over-the-top flirt.

  4. Welllll … Charlie was probably just trying to assert that he was just a normal guy. Clearly he knows that Mila doesn’t have to thieve if she wants something. It would either be comp’ed to her or she could buy it.

    The only thing she could steal from me would be my heart and she’s got that about half way done already.

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