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Brad Meltzer attempts to decode the Georgia Guidestones

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Once again, Brad Meltzer and his team of Scooby-Doo-esque, roving reporters from the TV show Decoded are set to ‘unveil’ another great mystery. This coming Thursday Scooby Meltzer will be tickling the underbellies of all the bedroom conspiracy theorists out there as he tackles the mystery of the Georgia Guidestones.

The show is entitled, “Apocalypse in Georgia.” No fear mongering or sensationalizing there then.

Standing on a hill just outside Atlanta, the stones have been described as America’s Stonehenge, although England’s iconic stone formation can, for now at least, claim genuine mystery.

The “American Stonehenge” was commissioned in 1979 by a man claiming the name R. C. Christian, who told people at the Elberton Granite Finishing Company that he wanted to send a message to mankind – so rumour has it.

So what is Scooby-Doo Meltzer going to do about it?

What time is the last post collection? I've got a cheque for Monsanto.

Before second guessing what Decoded are aiming for, let’s take a look at what the stones say. There are four standing stones with a capstone on top, and a central pillar. They carry ten ideologies which are written in eight different languages – that in itself shows equality.

There is also a slot on the central plinth which looks like a mailbox, so maybe that’s what they’re all about; just a fancy mailbox for the local farmers to post their letters and cheques to Monsanto.

You’re not buying that? Okay, well how about we just read the ‘commandments’ as some are calling them:

1. Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.
2. Guide reproduction wisely – improving fitness and diversity.
3. Unite humanity with a living new language.
4. Rule passion – faith – tradition – and all things with tempered reason.
5. Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts.
6. Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court.
7. Avoid petty laws and useless officials.
8. Balance personal rights with social duties.
9. Prize truth – beauty – love – seeking harmony with the infinite.
10. Be not a cancer on the earth – Leave room for nature – Leave room for nature.

Sinister stuff huh? Well, no, not really. It actually seems fairly common sense, but most people get stuck on the first ideology and then start believing there’s a massive government conspiracy to wipe 6.4 billion people off the face of the earth.

That may be so, but let’s face it, the first ideology “Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature” is really saying is that in order to remain in balance with nature, an ideal population would be half a billion worldwide – not, “let’s kill everyone.”

The second one “Guide reproduction wisely – improving fitness and diversity” often leads people to look up eugenics, a program initiated by the Nazis in the 2nd World War, in which Hitler used IBM computers to monitor concentration camps and determine the fittest of the species by subjecting them to heinous ordeals.

Again, if you read carefully and look objectively, the stones merely look to offer an improvement in society, cut back on needless reproduction (you only have to visit your nearest McDonalds to see the result of that) while maintaining cultural diversity. Be fitter, be stronger, be better people. What’s wrong with that?

The third ideology “Unite humanity with a living new language” is where it gets interesting. I can only speculate, but to me it suggests being more in tune with the natural environment; understanding the seasons, the subtle shifts in nature, animal kinship and the like. Again, I see no problem with that.

Number four “Rule passion – faith – tradition – and all things with tempered reason” again just seems like plain old common sense. Don’t be foolhardy by letting your emotions run away with you. Be calm, rational and objective.

Numbers five, six and seven all seem interlinked; Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts – human rights issues in their simplest form, a rally call for equality and respect among people.

Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court is the one that makes the conspiracy theorists frenzied about a New World Order, the idea that the planet is heading for dictatorship rule by an elite few. To me it says, let nations continue to be nations and run by their own government, but if any dispute arises between nations, don’t go to war over it – find a middle ground through talking about it.

Avoid petty laws and useless officials – a leaning towards a more balanced ruling system run by people who care, not bumbling, self-interested politicians who serve only their own needs and not those of the people they represent.

Number eight, Balance personal rights with social duties seems to address balance in personal life. We all have to work to survive but we also need time for ourselves, to enjoy life and recreation. We also have to live by the laws set out before us, but we still have the right to live freely.

Prize truth – beauty – love – seeking harmony with the infinite. The infinite could be referencing nature and the universe, you only have to look at fractal geometry to understand that everything is infinite, and you only have to look at a Romanesco cauliflower to see that evidenced in nature.

And finally…

Be not a cancer on the earth – Leave room for nature – Leave room for nature.

That’s pretty self explanatory really – be good to yourself, your neighbour and the world around you. Don’t go dropping your crap all over the sidewalk, or litter and pollute the water and lands; be respectful of the environment, live in harmony with your world, not abuse it like some sort of second rate slave. It provides for you, so look after it.

So yeah, what are the Scooby Decoded Doo team looking for?

If anything they’ll try to show both sides of the story. They’ll investigate R. C. Christian and link him to Thomas Paine (one of the founding fathers). They will then tell you that Paine was an occultist (not true) and that the stones are a pointer to a sinister plot to eradicate the majority of people from the planet, leaving in its wake a harmonious green thinking race of hippies, led by a New World Order who will keep the unruly tree-huggers under control through mind altering drugs.

Pretty much the same as watching TV then.

And then they’ll backtrack and say, “What the hell? They’re just a mailbox for local farmers to send cheques to Monsanto for more exorbitant GM seeds.”

Will Brad Meltzer and his Decoded team unearth the truth about the Georgia Guidestones? They might.

If it wasn’t for those meddlesome kids…

Please share your thoughts on the controversial Georgia Guidestones, or feel free to pick this article part by leaving a comment.

Read about other conspiracy theories like feminizing uranium in drinking water, Ronald Reagan’s FEMA camps, Bohemian Grove and its 20 foot owl, mass animal deaths, and JFK’s assassination still causing questions.

images: wired.com, blog.longnow.org

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