Kelly Osbourne a Yo-Yo Dieter?

Kelly Osbourne at the 2012 Grammy Awards with a slightly fuller figure

The last thing you’d expect to find as a cause of obesity is dieting; it’s like discovering that abstinence causes alcoholism, exercise makes you fat or marriage makes you happy.

But that fact remains that one of the major causes of obesity, both physically and psychologically, is dieting; extreme dieting (which is commonly known as yo-yo dieting) and leads to a kind of ‘self-starvation’ that ultimately leads to illness and cravings.

People who are naturally thin have a good relationship with food; they don’t eat excessively but rather finish when they’ve had enough instead of feeling the need/want to clean their plate, just because the food is there.

They listen to their bodies’ signals, eat when hungry and don’t understand why anyone would want to eat when they weren’t.

For some of us our relationship with food is unhealthy; we gorge, eat the wrong types of foods in abundance (carbs, sugar, white flour, etc) and dodge the healthy stuff because we don’t find it filling or appealing.

Another mistake overweight people make is to binge eat prior to a diet, cramming in as much junk as possible because ‘the diet starts tomorrow’. This kind of behaviour throws the body into turmoil and actually simulates starvation. When that happens the body goes into ‘survivor’ mode and burns fat to produce energy. Sounds great, burning fat, but when the diet ends the body goes into replenishment mode and the fat comes back with a vengeance. This is how eating disorders escalate.

We cut down on our intake, focusing on bland calorific stuff to sustain us while it does nothing for our taste buds or stomach (which is used to being stuffed with goodies). We also pride ourselves on false promises of weight loss and gym work; hurling ourselves into repetitious and dull rowing machines, cycling machines, weights, treadmills and swimming that only the superhuman, or subhuman can persevere with.

And yet for misguided dieters everywhere this is the modus operandi.

We might tough it out on our extreme, unsatisfying, bulimia inducing diet for a short while, but eventually we will fall off that wagon straight into a bowl of full-fat cheesecake, deep fried and wrapped in bacon. And once we fall, we fall hard.

All of a fat sudden we ‘allow’ ourselves all the things we feel we have gone without. The weight we lost returns, plus some more and probably some more because once we start eating badly, we somehow lose the will to do the gym exercises we didn’t enjoy doing anyway.

Kelly Osbourne goes ultra skinny

Kelly Osbourne goes ultra skinny

In the celebrity world Kelly Osbourne is a very good example of a yo-yo dieter; her weight has fluctuated throughout her public life and it’s plain to see that her relationship with food is an unhealthy one.

But healthy weight loss isn’t a great mystery; it’s just logic and a bit of self-imposed discipline with a clear aim. Once you begin to eat healthily, on wholesome, quality food, you will start to eradicate the desire to eat junk because you realise just how much better you feel eating a balanced diet of nuts, fruit, vegetables and sugar-free drinks like, well, water or rice milk – all of which can be combined into some of the tastiest meals around.

Our modern diet is based on chemicalised foods that have played their part in the increase of diabetes, heart disease, alzheimers and cancer to name but a few common diseases. Stepping away from those types of food opens us up to a world of healthier living and sustained weight loss which we never realised was possible because we listened to the television with all its advertising and falsities too much.

Listen to your body and you’re one step closer to your goal and keep away from faddy diets and snake oil quick fixes as the problems will quickly return.

Images: ,

Kelly Osbourne nearly had a gastric surgery

Kelly Osbourne before and after

Ozzy Osbourne’s daughter, famous for being chubby, loud mouthed and obnoxious  has been gracing the pages of all the kinds of glossy magazines you’d expect the ex-goth to hate – most recently in nothing but a bikini for the cover of girly health mag – Shape.

The outspoken star has publicly battled with the bulge for most of her life and in addition has been in and out of rehab for drug addiction.

“I got really fat, because I stopped doing drugs. I had just gotten out of rehab and I had been living in America again,” she told Piers Morgan’s show recently.

“I was actually living with my parents again because I didn’t feel like I was ready to live by myself, and I got the offer to Dancing with the Stars.”

As soon as she started working on the dance show, she began seriously shedding pounds due to the physically demanding work involved. But then she went on to say: “I was too scared to do all that. I went to a doctor about having a gastric band because that is what my Mum did and I asked my mum to take me.

“I was just too terrified to do it. I thought it would make me miserable if I did have it because you can’t eat anything, five bites and then you are full.

“Where’s the fun in that? It’s boring.”

Gastric surgery involves a surgical procedure where a band is fitted around the upper part of the stomach in order to restrict the amount of food it is possible to consume. It’s mainly considered a last resort procedure for people who are morbidly obese as it is a quick way of losing weigth due to the limited amount of food it is possible to take in.

Congratulations to the celebrity daughter for choosing a natural way of losing weight instead of going under the knife.


Mitch Winehouse claims Amy is with him in spirit

In some religions they say that in death we find peace and tranquillity, while assuming the form of an animal by way of spiritual expression.

In life Amy Winehouse was a lost soul stuck on a path not of her own choosing and forced to live with the daily consequences of that enforced lifestyle. To a large extent she failed and instead hid herself inside a bottle, a square of foil or the contents of a cigarette paper.


Mitch Winehouse steering Amy as he always did.

The wounds of her passing on July 23rd are still too raw for many to allow her to move on and according to her father Mitch, she is still with him in spirit. And that must suit his current publicity drive.

Furthermore, the crooked and too-good-to-be-true Mitch Winehouse now claims that his daughter paid guests at her funeral a visit in the guise of a black butterfly.

Mitch Winehouse claims his daughter returned as a black butterfly.

When I did the eulogy at her funeral, as I got up to speak, a black butterfly came in.”

I had my head down because I was reading and I could hear people muttering and I thought the paparazzi had got in.”

It landed on Kelly Osbourne’s shoulder then flew around me, have you ever heard anything like that in your life? It’s incredible.”

While Anderson Cooper may have been amazed by Mitch’s story, the more sceptical amongst us should rightly question his motives.

For a former taxi driver who has forged his own singing career on the back of his exploited daughter’s fame; who used her as leverage to form a trust in her name only after she had died and who continues to seek publicity for himself to assume that the girl he forced into a destructive music career would come back as a butterfly is utterly insulting to her.


Amy Winehouse should have returned as a black bull to help her find peace.

If she had any sense at all she’d come back as a black bull and charge through the sycophantic crowd, stomp on the pointlessly famous-for-being-somebody-famous’s-daughter Kelly Osbourne’s head and steam towards her insidious father, pinning him to the dais before goring him to death.

Even now he won’t let her rest,just as when she was alive and struggling with her addictions and lifestyle. The best he could do for all concerned is shrink away and never speak again because his continual use of her as some sort of religious icon is wearing thin. A little investigation into her estate should be carried out. I wouldn’t bet against Mitch Winehouse being the beneficiary of her royalties.

Perhaps he is a ghost too, the spirit of a former self come back as a leech.

Share your thoughts on Mitch Winehouse and his daughter’s death by leaving a comment.

Read about the lead up to Amy Winehouse’s death starting with her Serbian performance, cancelling her tour, the day she died, her father Mitch sets up the Amy Winehouse Foundation and the rise and fall of an addict.


Who Killed Amy Winehouse?

The news of Amy Winehouse’s death last month was greeted with a combination of grief and relief, and an iota of shock by people too foolish or unconcerned to see it coming.

People everywhere were suddenly Amy Winehouse’s best friend and sales of her most successful album Back to Black rocketed as hoi polloi realised they were staunch fans of the deceased singer – a fact that had remained dormant until the news of her death was released, reminding them they’d always liked her but not enough to buy one of her albums.

People crowded into the square in Camden Town, London where she lived and died and famous friends of the chanteuse and some not-so-famous not-so-friends got in on the act claiming affinity, close friendship et al for a person too dead to be able to dispute the fact.

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse: cause of death still unknown.

Lady Gaga, jealous of the ultimate publicity stunt pulled by Winehouse, claimed that she was unable to speak for two days after the news of the death of someone she’d never met was received. In which case, it’s a shame that Amy Winehouse can’t die more often.  And then, as if not embarrassing herself enough, she made porcine noises about playing Winehouse when they get around to making a film about her life. They could call it Lady Gaga as Amy Winehouse.

A small child in the Caribbean materialised all of a sudden claiming to be Winehouse’s daughter she was just on the brink of adopting before she went off and died, leaving her in the hands of her horribly unfamous real mother with no back catalogue of Mercury prize winning albums, grump. Kelly Osbourne, daughter of Ozzy, suddenly seemed to be magically conjured everywhere the name ‘Winehouse’ was even whispered, slating other minor celebrities for cashing in on the death of a friend, whilst appearing to do the exact same thing for her very own self.

[adsense]Amy Winehouse’s sinister father, Mitch Amy-Winehouse appeared to be enjoying having Amy’s spotlight shining down upon him self, and announced news of a forthcoming Amy Winehouse Foundation, although sadly the domain name had already been registered by someone equally opportunistic, which must have smarted. Talk about being beaten at your own game. Martin McCann who now owns the website URL  is only doing what everybody else has been doing for four weeks or in some cases, since Amy found fame. Exploiting her name and milking her famous udders. They may not have been as obvious as McCann but the outcome is the same and they are just as guilty.

Four weeks later and I wonder if her fellow Camden Town drinkers, junkies, stinkers, lopers and hangers on who claimed to know her are done with clinking glasses as they expel slurred and insincere eulogies to the dead girl as they stare into the bottom of Hawley Arms’ glassware and have to face the ignominy of paying for their glasses to be refilled themselves.

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse: destroyed by fame.

The long awaited toxicology report has proved frustratingly inconclusive and it seems there is still  no closure for the life and death of Amy Winehouse, just a load of speculation as to what might or might not have finished the young poplet off.

The report showed that no traces of recreational drugs were found inside Winehouse’s body – which puts a dampener on the supposed cocktail of class ‘A’ drugs she is rumoured to have bought the night before with a drug dealer ‘friend’.  Traces of alcohol were found although it is not clear in what kind of quantities but that puts an end to Mitch Amy-Winehouse’s claim that she had been dry for three weeks prior to death.

Whether it was the frailty of her body no longer able to cope, eating disorders, emphysema, alcohol or a combination of the above, what really killed Amy Winehouse it would appear, is fame and what fame bought her.

Amy Winehouse was the reluctant superstar. She didn’t need to be famous and it didn’t fit comfortably with her. She was an ordinary down-to-earth girl who could carry a tune and liked to have a good time, just like most people her age. Unable to cope with the demands and attention of a salacious media eager to record her every faux pas as she stumbled through the last few years of a young life saddened by recreational drugs, vast quantities of alcohol, bad company and the eyes of a filthy media providing dirt for a greedy public that slurped up her every foolish indiscretion as they nursed hangovers and bacon sandwiches of their own.

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse: great voice; bad judge of character.

The results of an inquest into the cause of Amy Winehouse’s death will be released in October but it seems the real cause of death was fame and money and the eating disorders,and addictions that went with it.

It was the unremitting publicity and the spoils of fame that killed Amy Winehouse and her bad judgement when it came to other people, and the company she chose to keep.

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Dieting Leads to Obesity: the all or nothing approach leads to failure

Obesity. The last thing you’d expect to find as a major cause of obesity – is dieting itself. It’s like finding out that abstinence causes alcoholism or exercise makes you fat or marriage makes you happy.

But one of the major causes of obesity – both physically and psychologically, is dieting; extreme dieting and that which is commonly known as yo-yo dieting in particular, which involves starving yourself or pretty much starving yourself until your stomach tries do digest itself in order to keep what’s left of you alive and alternately gorging on excess quantities as a reaction to the preceding period of almost starvation.

Fat Kirsty Alley

Kirsty Alley ate all the cake.

One of the main differences between those hate-worthy naturally thin people and fat people is the ‘all or nothing’ mentality. Naturally thin, non-food obsessed happy people, who us fatties or serial dieters believe to be able to eat whatever they want, generally eat a healthy combination of foods depending on what they feel like eating at the time. Ergo they listen to their bodies’ signals. They eat when they are hungry and cannot understand why anyone would want to eat when they weren’t. Not something us sugar craving, carb-loading fatties can even begin to imagine. Finishing eating the cookies whilst there are still some in the packet? – ridiculous concept. If there’s one slice of pizza left – shame to waste it. Thinnies don’t binge eat; they eat until they are satisfied and not a bean/biscuit/bite beyond. They don’t mentally try to compensate for periods of severe abstinence from food with excessive intakes. Nor do they prepare for periods of dieting by binge-eating on enough fodder to keep a small village in Argentinan sustained for a fortnight because as of tomorrow/Monday/1st of January etc the diet proper really begins and this time, oh this time, it will be different. I am going to be thin, even if I die trying. Which if I carry on this way and develop an eating disorder, I stand a proper chance of doing. But I’ll be thin and I’d rather be dead and thin than fat and alive. Sadly, people do think like this.

So the day/week/month before the diet commences, I gorge myself on everything I think I will be unable to eat for the rest of forever, and in excessive quantities, for tomorrow/next week/next year – I diet.

Come tomorrow/next week/1st of January, I might start well. One Weetabix (a food type so tasty it is essential to drown it in milk and inter it in sugar or honey or something to disguise its insipid taste and texture of packing materials) without sugar or honey, because they are not only tasty but calorific, so I will eat my lonesome Weetabix with a drop of skimmed milk. And instead of a tasty milky sugary cappuccino, I will have a black coffee with no or little skimmed milk, even though I don’t like unsweetened coffee. Skimmed milk doesn’t taste of anything and will taste of nothing even more so after last night’s final binge on pepperoni pizza, Haagen Daaz, a family pack of Doritos, a quarter ton of sugared popcorn and several other family sized portions of toxic bullshittery and then that KFC bucket at quarter to midnight, as tomorrow and the official diet is still a massive fifteen minutes away. I throw in enough coca cola to drown a football team because the colonel’s secret recipe sends my taste buds into an orgy of chemical delight and dehydrates my mouth so much that I feel like I’ve eaten the deep fried wings of Big Bird – the monstrous yellow abomination from Sesame Street.

[adsense]It’s the next morning and although I feel like I ate a double-decker bus before I went to sleep, I’m already driven wild by the pains in my stomach commonly associated with a shark bite so that the sight of my ‘naturally’ thin work colleague having a pain au chocolat for breakfast and a coffee with real proper milk that hasn’t been de-fatted is enough to drive me to do something sociopathic like rape her handbag whilst she is out of the room, probably buying a fat coke.

By 11am someone stands next to the steaming photocopier for so long that I’m convinced they are beginning to cook – I swear I can smell bacon. How many calories are there in an accounts clerk anyway?  And then old skinny bitch tucks into a slab of John’s birthday cake (that she struggles to finish, even though I could swallow it whole like it was a single M&M and then finish off the rest of the cake using my favorite method of eating – face down whilst no one is looking).

Dinner? No really, I couldn't possibly eat all that.

By lunchtime I’m already contemplating suicide. I devour my 8 ounces of fat free yoghurt that has been especially processed to not only remove the fat, but also to reduce any flavour it once had: white liquid with a suggestion of yoghurt anyone? I supplement this with a piece of fruit. No bananas though – too fattening. But all the water I can eat without throwing it back up. By 2.30 I’m berating myself for feeling hungry again (well still actually) having spent the entire morning considering buttering my own forearm. There’s not much difference between me and a ham baguette after all. Minus the cardigans and elasticated trousers, we’re all just sandwich filling to a carnivore.

It’s not all bad though. At 4pm, dieting me is allowed 8 almonds, and a slice of lean ham, followed by a humiliating half a peach. I think about sneaking an extra almond but realise I will only be cheating myself.

By the end of the first day, I climb into bed, still hungry, depressed and start to wonder if the self loathing I’m so full of is fattening.

I join a gym again that I will soon stop attending because I don’t like going to the gym. I never have done. It’s a futile exercise. And much as I like performing repetitions of repetitions of really dull exercises, I don’t enjoy being surrounded by twats with deeper suntans than a mahogany armoire.

A week of this and hoorah, I’ve lost some weight, quite a bit in fact (because I’m starving my body); but I spend the entire day and every night thinking about food, I can hear a packet of Doritos being opened in another part of the building, even with headphones on. I’m jealous of the people around me who seem to be able to eat what they want and remain thin; and I’m depressed. This is the start of an eating disorder. Welcome bulimia. Come in, take a seat and make yourself comfortable.

Only the superhuman, or subhuman can persevere on this regime. And yet for dieters everywhere this is our modus operandi. We starve ourselves but we need to eat and we need to enjoy what we eat. We need freedom of choice. Even nature’s dustbin, the dog, will turn its little wet nose up at food it doesn’t like, unless it is truly starving.

We might stick at our extreme unsatisfying, bulimia producing diet for a while, but eventually, unless we are super/subhuman or unless we die, we will fall off that wagon straight into a bowl of full-fat cheesecake, deep fried and wrapped in bacon. And once we fall, we fall hard. All of a fat sudden we ‘allow’ ourselves all the things we feel we have gone without. The weight we lost returns, plus some more and probably some more because once we start eating badly, we somehow lose the will to do the gym exercises we didn’t enjoy doing anyway. Strange that.

Our embarrassingly slim friend doesn’t binge eat. She has normal eating patterns and will eat what her body tells her to, when she is hungry and stops as soon as she is satisfied. Imagine that fatties!

These so-called friends can leave a half opened chocolate bar on their desks for weeks because they don’t ‘feel like’ chocolate. If I tried to leave an M&M on my desk, it would appear to be doing semaphore and wearing a beacon on its head in my peripheral vision, until I finally succumbed.

The reason I got fat was from dieting. From deprivation. From eating the wrong foods. From eating the wrong quantities. At the wrong times.

Cambridge Diet

The Cambridge Diet: also known as starvation.

I first suffered with eating disorders caused by excessive dieting in the 80s. Back when there was no advice available. It was the dieting dark ages. To lower your weight you under ate or did something even more ridiculous like the Cambridge Diet where you ‘exist’ barely on vitamin-enriched shakes, that were unsatisfying, unfilling and tasted mildly of someone else’s sick. Or you ate slimmers’ meals; half the fat, half the calories, half the size and not half as satisfying as food. I didn’t know how to prepare a healthy meal or even what one was. At school we learned how to make cakes and biscuits. If it didn’t contain animal fat and sugar it wasn’t on the curriculum.

Dieting generally makes us miserable. Extreme diets don’t satisfy us or nourish us. They make us lose weight. Often too quickly. Often very temporarily. Then we stop the diet, because starving makes you hungry, we return to our old ways, but worse and we pile on the lard.

But dieting ‘experts’ tell us to eat low fat, count our calories, chew our food and spit it out, avoid carbs after 5pm, eat protein only, or if we are hungry chew a piece of gum or go for a walk instead. That would be hilarious if I hadn’t tried it. My favourite piece of dieting advice ever is to moisten a baked potato with water rather than using calorie heavy butter or olive oil. Fuck off.

Obesity and food binging

Extreme dieting leads to binging and binging leads to obesity.

The only way to lose weight properly is to eat properly, allow yourself some freedom and so-called unhealthy foods if that’s what you need to make yourself happy and because you are human and make a promise to yourself to never ‘diet’ again or binge eat. The more healthy food you eat the better, but don’t berate yourself if you eat a deep fried suitcase full of chocolate spread. If you eat two croissants for breakfast, don’t chuck in the towel and have pizza for lunch and takeouts for dinner. And don’t starve yourself for the rest of the day either.  Most importantly – eat when you are hungry. You need food to eat and you need to eat to live.

The best diet you can eat is high in vegetables, fruit, nuts and seeds and low in McDonalds, animal protein and coca cola.

Never go on a silly diet again and avoid at all costs, the all or nothing mentality.

Famous yo-yo dieters include Oprah Winfrey, Kirstie Alley and Ozzy Osbourne’s daughter, Kelly Osbourne.

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Images:, fatgirlusa,,,,,

Kelly Osbourne – Famously Unfamous

With Kelly Osbourne’s recent inundation of snipes at other celebrities more famous and/or more talented than her, it’s difficult to not question why it is someone such as she – ie not famous for anything other than being the daughter of someone who is famous, or was thirty years ago, is actually famous herself.

[adsense]I’m not entirely anti-Kelly Obsourne per se, she doesn’t even approach the peripheral of the risible and repellent celebrity radar. And I understand that she is famous because of her father. What I don’t understand is why she is treated like and behaves like a celebrity herself. Her career so far has been based on a dreadful shot at becoming a musician. Even riding on the back of her father’s name couldn’t help her there and a clothing line riding on the back of a thirteen-year-old – Madonna’s sprog – Lourdes Ciccone has been equally unprofitable.

She famously hangs out with famous people such as newly deceased Amy Winehouse, with all the trendy London party folk and takes cowardly snipes at people from her high horse, but without the acute wit and dagger-tooth tongue of Joan Rivers.

It’s strange for us normal folk (brought up in working class or middle class families, who go to normal schools and work for a living) to understand why the already rich and faux famous strive for recognition. Clearly the money is not enough for them. Obviously the cursory fame (on the back of someone else’s name) is not enough. Perhaps it’s guilt, knowing that they have done nothing to deserve the press attention or the walk-in wardrobes, sports cars and famous friends.

Celebrities happily give up their anonymity and their freedom to live normal lives in exchange for recognition. Will they go to the grave happily knowing that they were a household name?  Why would anyone spend their lives trying to ensure that everyone remembers them once they’re dead?  It didn’t seem to do Amy Winehouse much good. And it’s still not doing her much good now. Poor girl can’t seem to get a wink of rest in peace without the media dredging up some implausible story or altogether un-newsworthy item ridiculous enough to have her waking from her dirt nap just to laugh at them.

Fame only seems to sit well with people that are that inordinately desperate for attention that they welcome the media photographing the minutae of their lives: each time they retrieve their underwear from their privileged arse cracks, have a lovers’ tiff, part their hair differently, wear knickers made of bacon, or just blow their well known noses.

Lady Gaga in meat dress

Lady Gaga’s rotten flesh with a meat frock to wrap it in. Attention please!

It just goes to prove that maybe it is not just money that drives us to succeed but recognition, and the bounty that comes with it is just a bonus.

Gob-sbourne is not old, sagacious or sharply witty enough to be launching attacks yet. Maybe in twenty years her childish spite will have been crafted into something that resembles Joan Rivers’ gloriously despicable vitriol. Until then, she is just a spoiled little rich girl, trying to be noticed.

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Read about other people who are famous through nepotism like Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Petra Ecclestone.


Heather Locklear’s Boobs or Kelly Osbourne’s Mouth – Which is bigger?

Kelly Osbourne – famous for being the overweight daughter of ex-wildman and 70s rocker, Ozzy Osbourne – has been gobbing off again, this time turning her barbarous tongue on neo-royal, Kate Middleton. Continuing her current theme of slagging off other women in the public eye, she has this time issued her sage-like advice to the future Queen of England.

Earlier this week she slated long-time rival and arch-nemesis, whose look she seems to be emulating these days – Christina Aguilera, who like a lot of women has struggled to lose the fat that she piled on after giving birth to her son. Osbourne called her a “fat bitch” during the filming of E’s Fashion Police. The pair have been publically catfighting for years, firing stupid remarks et al at one another in a manner that can only be described as puerile. If there was one thing more shameful than catfighting girls, it’s spoiled, rich catfighting girls eye-scratching and handbag chucking in public.

Kelly Osbourne

Kelly Osbourne: daughter of Ozzy, in spat with Christina Aguilera.

This time Osbourne was appearing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, when she told him that if she was the future monarch of the British Isles, she wouldn’t recycle her wardrobe, as Kate Middleton has. By  ‘recycle’ she is referring to photos of the future Queen that appeared in UK redtop rags showing her wearing the same outfits more than once. Disgusting behaviour for a future Queen.

“Well I’m sorry but if I had that job I would only wear it once,” she said. “If I am going to be the future bloody Queen of England I’m going to wear that dress once because I’m giving up the rest of my life, all of my privacy, at least I can get a new dress every day.” A profound observation from the sagacious one.

Kelly Osbourne: called Christina Aguilera a "fat bitch".The opinionated youngster seems happy to open her great clumsy mouth and expel foul draughts in the direction of anyone she deems a worthy target and appearing on any and every show that can fit her through the door. Something she recently accused UK Big Brother contestant Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace  of doing by speaking out about mutual friend Amy Winehouse’s death.

It strikes me that Osbourne is trying to reposition herself as a chubby adolescent Joan Rivers but without the biting sense of humour and witty retorts Rivers excels at, she comes across as just a desperate young woman flailing in a sea of people more talented than she is. Just because your dad is famous, doesn’t mean you can say anything you want. Having a big mouth is one thing, controlling what comes out of it, is another. Shut up Osbourne.

Heather Locklear

Heather Locklear - with her very newsworthy breasts.

Talking of big things, Heather Locklear’s boobs are currently courting controversy. That’s so boobs. The 50-year-old has been spotted sporting a rather large rack with the kind of cleavage you could park a six-berth yacht in, triggering speculation from media hungry for something to fill column inches that she may or may not have had a boob job. With so many people getting boob jobs these days, is it really necessary to report on each one? A man getting a boob job – that would be newsworthy; or a ten-year-old girl. That’s news. And judging by the age of models used in French Vogue recently, it’s only a matter of time.

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Kelly Osbourne Attacks Christina Aguilera for Being Fat

It’s handbags at fifty paces again as Ozzy Osbourne’s daughter has labelled Christina Aguilera a “fat bitch” in a continuation of the ongoing puerile feud between the two girlies. It seems she’ll do anything to get herself in the headlines at the moment. Particularly when it comes to vitriol pointed in the direction of other celebrities.

During the filming of E’s Fashion Police, Kelly Osbourne attacked Aguilera, levelling marks at her, that could all too easily have been applied to herself.

[adsense]Christina has very publically had weight issues since the birth of a child in 2008 and since then her weight has been up and down more frequently than a hooker’s knickers, never quite regaining the uber-svelte look of her ‘dirty’ pre-motherhood heyday. Whereas Kelly Osbourne is famous for being overweight and has received constant ridicule for her bloated appearance. Including most recently from an ex-boyfriend who published insulting remarks on Twitter regarding her sizeable size.

An image of a more voluptuous Aguilera was shown during the show and Osbourne was quick to shoot her down saying. “Maybe she’s just becoming the fat bitch she was always born to be. I don’t know. She was a c*** to me.”

Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera in crotchless trouser configuration - before she got fat like Kelly Osbourne.

And then she went on to say: “She called me fat for so many f**king years, so you know what? F**k you, you’re fat too!”

There are two problems with Osbourne revelling in the ‘fatness’ of her arch-nemesis: firstly, she’s not actually very fat and, secondly, Osbourne actually has been for most of her public life. And in making such comments she is merely drawing the attention to her own body issues and discomfort with her own size.

The public feuding has been going on since 2003 when Christina Aguilera threw darts at an image of Osbourne in some silly skit and made a generic comment about it being Halloween already. A comment anyone who favors gothic attire will find familiar.

Osbourne (a drinking buddy of recently defunct Amy Winehouse) has also been having a dig at other celebs, accusing another friend of Winehouse’s – Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace  – of using the singer’s death as a chance to self promote and resuscitate her flailing career, despite seeming to do the same thing herself, whilst trying to appear controversial.

Kelly Osbourne before and after

Kelly Osbourne - before and after Photoshop by the looks of things.

These two girls – Osbourne and Aguilera – who should be grown up women by now should give it a rest, unless they really need the publicity. There’s an oil crisis, we’re in recession, wars are taking place, people are dying of cancer – there’s plenty of shit going on far more important than the childish vendetta of a slightly overweight daughter of an old English rocker who took too many drugs.

I’m no more a fan of Christina Aguilera than Osbourne is. They are both spoiled showbiz brats, but at least Aguilera has done something. Her voice is irritating and her songs a mixed tape  for generic strippers, but at least she has a job title.

Osbourne is out of her depth. She should remember who she really is. The daughter of someone mostly famous for being a junky, like a chunky Paris Hilton, not a showbiz personality.

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The best celebrity bodies of 2010

Jennifer Hudson and Kelly Osbourne have been voted by Fitness magazine as having the best celebrity bodies in the category Best Celeb Slim Down.

The Dreamgirls star, who scored top marks for dropping from an American size 16 to a size 6, attributed her drastic transformation to the birth of her son, which inspired her to lose weight, and also to Weight Watchers.

Jennifer Hudson, who is now the spokesperson for the program, explained: “It’s not a diet, it’s really a way of living that teaches you better skills.

“For years I felt like I could never have ice cream, but I can eat ice cream occasionally now!”

Kelly has fared just as well this year, managing to finally put her druggy and yo-yo dieting days behind her, and dropping 50 pounds. Dancing with Stars is where the extra kilos started melting away for the 26-year-old, and inspired by her toned and trimmer body, the petite star then embarked on a strict workout regimen and made some major changes to her eating habits.

“It is the old fashioned way of making a commitment to yourself and waking up everyday and doing it,” Kelly said of her exercise routine, also adding: “I don’t eat junk food. I don’t have it in my house anymore. I’m more inclined to go for a bag of carrots now than a bag of chips. But, if I want a piece of cake I’m going to eat a f***ing piece of cake. You just have to learn your boundaries.”

The magazine, which is “all about looking good and feeling better”, had other categories including for Best Body After Baby (Bethanny Frankel), Best Curves (Christina Hendricks), Best Dancer’s Body (Karina Smirnoff), Cutest Workout Pair (Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth) and Best Baby Bump (Melissa Rycroft).

Read here about how Kelly Osbourne almost had gastric surgery.

Images: PR Photos

Kelly Osbourne on how she nearly had gastric surgery

The petite 26 year old has been gracing the pages of glossy magazines – most recently in nothing but a bikini for the latest edition of Shape magazine – showing off her new look: the result of overhauling her lifestyle.

The outspoken reality star has battled with her weight for much of her life and has been in and out of rehab for her addiction to drugs. This weekend, on Piers Morgan’s show Life Stories, Kelly opened up about how her weight ballooned after coming off drugs.

“I got really fat, because I stopped doing drugs. I had just gotten out of rehab and I had been living in America again.

“I was actually living with my parents again because I didn’t feel like I was ready to live by myself, and I got the offer to Dancing with the Stars.”

Kelly, who started drastically shedding the pounds during the physically demanding show, revealed that for a while she was considering having gastic surgery. But then she went on to say: “I was too scared to do all that. I went to a doctor about having a gastric band because that is what my Mum did and I asked my mum to take me.

“I was just too terrified to do it. I thought it would make me miserable if I did have it because you can’t eat anything, five bites and then you are full.

“Where’s the fun in that? It’s boring.”

The restrictive surgical procedure, which involves fitting a band around the upper part of one’s stomach to restrict the amount of food that can be consumed a one time, is becoming increasingly popular, either as a last result for morbidly obese people or to provide a quicker way to lose weight for those prepared to undergo having a band fitted.

As with any surgical procedure, a number of complications can arise. Hats off to the fiesty celebrity who lost weight the hard but healthy and certainly safer way: by following a strict diet and exercise regime.

Let’s hope others will be inspired by Kelly’s story to avoid surgery and lose weight through hard work and a strong will.

Read here about Kelly’s addiction to prescription drugs and how she transformed herself into a petite size six.

Celebrities who have had gastric surgery include Star Jones and Sharon Osbourne.

Images: Wikimedia Commons and PR Photos