Madonna to release another signature scent

Not to be outdone by her clone Lady Gaga, Madonna is upping the stakes by flooding the market with her very own ‘signature scent’ according to reports in the webloids today.

Having been an ‘international business woman’ for decades our dear old Madge is now turning her moniker to perfumes and while some sites have expressed their surprise that Madonna didn’t release her own fragrance earlier in her career, I’ve always been of the opinion that she released her signature scent with every new single, album, book or film she shat out.


A first glance at Madonna's perfume. Very classy looking and comes with a free FM radio so you can smell like her while listening to her excellent songs.

Last month she released the ‘Material Girl‘ range with her official progeny Lourdes, a line of products with her name on them designed to magnetise the pocket money of young girls into her own bank account so that she can continue to purchase sacrificial virgins from third world countries to make herself look younger.


Madonna looking young and healthy without the need for plastic surgery.

Of course she has never once had surgery and it is in fact her secret cabal that keeps her looking young. Or something like that.

Anyway, her forthcoming perfume is being developed by Coty, a fragrance giant that I’ve never heard of. The deal is still in the balance at the moment which is terribly exciting and no doubt there will be prayers and hopes hinging on the deal being completed so that girls of all ages can douse themselves in alcoholic pot-pourri and be as generic as the progenitor herself.

Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce have already beaten Madonna to the punch with their own fragrances called Glow and Heat respectively, both also conjured up by Coty.

It’s also highly possible that the fragrances will be tested on animals, not because they’re vain and want to smell like a ropey old tart, but because apparently spraying poison into their eyes is a good indication of how a human will react to it.


Actually, looking at Madonna is not unlike having poison sprayed in the eyes.

If a human is stupid enough to spray perfume in their eyes they deserve all the misery they get. Idiots. And that goes for the people who think that animal testing is acceptable. Surely products for humans should be tested on humans? No?

Having read the headlines this morning I thought Madge had ventured into the world of porn but alas I was mistaken. Oh hang on. Yeah she did try that with that god-awful Body of Evidence and her risible Sex book.


Madonna looking for her soul.

You can look forward to splashing on a bit of Madonna’s stinking juice should the deal go ahead and probably pay through the nose for it. Not in a “I’ve lost my septum through cocaine addiction” kind of way, just a “Oh dear there goes my soul which is helping Madonna pay off her debt to Satan” kind of way.


With only a few years left Madonna is trying to make sure her retirement is a comfortable one.

Or you can see it for what it is, Madonna looking to prolong her career and income any way she can, even though she’s a relic of a dying industry which is going to burn out when the stupid people run out of money to buy its asinine goods.

Please, splash a bit of musk in the comment box to let us know your thoughts on Madonna’s latest venture.

Read about Madonna’s comments on Lady Gaga, her movie directorial debut, Lady Gaga copying everyone in sight, falling off her piano stool and best of all falling off her own shoes at a photo shoot.




Kelly Rowland hails Beyonce motherhood as strippers take over the world

Beyonce Knowles and her girls may think that they run the world but the big question now is how she’ll manage to pin down world leadership while breast-feeding her newborn lamb.

The pop mannequin is expecting her first born child which she hoped to do by the age of 30 (ambitious huh?) and rap star / producer / dullard husband Jay-Z has duly obliged her.

Having been the subject of false pregnancy rumours earlier this year Beyonce finally announced the official news on August 28th while attending the VMA Awards, with fellow pop wastrels such as Kelly Rowland gushing in the media about what a great mother Knowles will make.

It's official - Beyonce has irritable bowel syndrome.

“I have known for quite a while, and she’s happy, and Jay is happy, and that’s all that counts.”

“I think she’ll be an incredible mother, because she’s always been motherly,” she said. “I think that she takes after so many traits from her mother. I just think it’s going to be so natural for her. It’s natural for her now!”

[adsense]With such intelligent and well founded commentary as that, perhaps the running of the world will be in safe hands if Rowland deputises, while Beyonce changes nappies and tries to look her best with a rampant sprog gumming on her teet, although if she’s anything like Victoria Beckham she’ll dump the kid on someone else at five weeks of age in order to focus on eating disorders in a bid to look good for some award ceremony or fashion show of no consequence.

The hypocrisy surrounding mothering and releasing a song which intimates that women run the world is astounding. Certainly the women harried into prostitution or sold as sex slaves in third world or eastern European countries would argue that they don’t run the world, as would rape victims and those trapped in exploitative industries, and with Beyonce dressed and dancing like a stripper in her video there is some question as to whether girls do run the world or not.

Is it these girls that run the world Beyonce?

Its certainly been a man’s world until now and they’ve only managed to make a mess of it.

As a romantic notion the song is great; it’s a rallying call for women who have been oppressed or down-trodden in some way, a chance for them to feel empowered and find a modicum of bravery in their crushed hearts, but Beyonce the hypocrite isn’t that role model. Anyone who sells themselves with sex is not empowering women, they are degrading them further. Men won’t watch the video and think, “Wow, isn’t Beyonce empowering women with her pole dancing moves and skimpy outfits; I was so wrong to disrespect the opposite sex.”

Instead they’ll think, “I’d do her.”

She is of course not completely to blame. She is part of an industry that churns out sex toys on a daily basis and it’s clear that the lines between the music industry and the porn industry are slowly blurring. To make matters worse, Beyonce doesn’t even run her own world as that business is taken care of by her father.

Beyonce, how about these girls? Do they run the world?

There lies another issue of morality – what kind of father is happy to see his daughter dress like a hooker, be lusted after by low class men and spout such ridiculous nonsense as “ Boy I know you love it, How we’re smart enough to make these millions, Strong enough to bear the children, Then get back to business, See, you better not play me, Don’t come here baby, Hope you still like me, Fuck you , Pay me”?

Those conspiracy theories about a New World Order using the music, television, film, video gaming and porn industries to lower the standards of humanity are starting to look awfully convincing. It won’t be long before almost every video contains full frontal hardcore sex and society will quickly grow to accept it as the norm.

Music or porn video? You decide.

Where does it go after that? Newborn porn?

Share your thoughts on how a pole dancer expecting a baby is running the world by leaving a comment.

Read about Beyonce’s initial pregnancy rumour, the breaking news about her official pregnancy, Victoria Beckham abandoning her baby to get thin, the Rockefeller Building conspiracy theory and what our MALE world leaders get up to for two weeks at Bohemian Grove.


Beyonce is pregnant

Beyonce stole the show at the MTV Video Music Awards yesterday…by revealing her baby bump.

The 29-year-old star was photographed wearing a floaty orange gown and cradling her belly, while saying: “I have a surprise!”

Her rep later confirmed to People: “I’m happy to say it’s true.”

Beyonce is pragnant

During the show, Beyonce performed her new single, Love on Top. As an introduction to the song, she asked the crowd to stand up: “I want you to stand up on your feet. I want you to feel the love that’s growing inside me,” she said.

After the performance, she unbuttoned her jacket and rubbed her stomach, much to the crowd’s delight.

“They told friends in the last month,” a source told People. “She’s never been happier. Seriously it’s all she’s been waiting for. And Jay is like an excited kid. They’re adorable.”

Beyonce has been married to 41-year-old rapper Jay-Z for the past three years. The pair were in a long-term relationship before tying the knot in a private ceremony in 2008. On Sunday, the singer cheered on her husband as he performed ‘Otis’ with Kanye West, before taking to the stage herself.

The announcement comes after a stellar summer for the Grammy-winner in which she headlined Glastonbury and released another hit album, 4.

[adsense]Beyonce has won a total of 16 Grammy awards and recently revealed that she felt it was time to put her career on the back burner and concentrate on her family. 

“Now I’m a woman, and because I gave it my all, I can focus on my marriage. I can decide I want to have kids. I can be the mother I want to be and dedicate myself to my children.”

Just this June, Beyonce, who turns 30 on Sept. 4, told Piers Morgan in an interview, “I always said I would have a baby at 30,” adding, “But I also said I was going to retire at 30. So I don’t know…I am not retiring, I tell you.”

When questioned further by Morgan she said: “Only God knows, only God knows.”

Another celebrity who has recently announced that she is pregnant is actress Jennifer Garner. Click here to also read about morning sickness, Alicia Silverstone giving birth recently and Tori Spelling tweeting about her third pregnancy.

Images: nonu photography and Mr Azed on Flikr