Mel B wants to have more children and is hoping to break into the record books by siring sprogs with as many different fathers as possible.
As the saying goes, “you can take the girl out of the council estate, but you can’t take the council estate out of the girl.”
It is unclear whether Mel B (Melanie Brown) wants more children in the hope of getting her own council subsidised flat and increased benefits which the British government are always keen to hand out, or if she actually wants kids for the right reasons.
Formerly of the Spice Girls, a ‘group’ of low class English females who were good at shouting, pouting and louting (but little else), and which has spawned serial child dispenser Victoria Beckham (currently with four to her name – all with the same man though).
Having just unleashed her third daughter on the world, Madison, Scary Spice is now talking up the prospects of sullying the planetary gene pool even more.
“I want some more. I love kids. I say if you can have kids, have them, and if not, adopt.”
Current husband Stephen Belafonte who also has seven-year-old daughter from a previous girlfriend is in accord with his current fling and backed her up saying, “Maybe we’ll adopt. Helping an underprivileged kid is a good thing. You can change someone’s life who is already here.”
They could both help the lives of many people already here by shutting up and going away. For some reason Mel B is still clinging to celebrity status despite having done pretty much nothing since the Spice Girls‘ demise other than have a child and a terrible marriage with Jimmy Gulzar, a fling and another child with Eddie Murphy, and now what? Married to Stephen Belafonte who is famous for producing some awful films and punching men in London hotels.
Having almost separated in August 2010 the couple seem to have tried to patch their marriage up by having a child which is always a fantastic method and rarely ever fails to cover the cracks in any relationship.
Despite the setbacks, Mel is dogged in her determination to shit another one out, partly because her first daughter, Phoenix (presumably named after Peter Kay’s ‘Phoenix Nights‘, a comedy set in a Bolton working men’s club – something which must bring great comfort to Mel B) wants a baby brother.
“Phoenix is over the moon but I think she’d still like a boy, so maybe we’ll try again in a few years.”
In a few years she’ll be old enough to have her own and get a council flat on the back of it.
Mel seems happy that she’s getting things right at the third time of asking though.
“Ideally you want to have your loving partner who you’ve created this baby with by your side throughout everything and Angel and Phoenix’s cases, that wasn’t the set up.
“This time, I’ve done it with my partner, someone to come to every appointment with me – to get excited by the scans. It finally feels like I’ve done it right.”
Time will tell but for now, please let’s all give the couple so much privacy that they disappear off the radar forever, go back to their respective malls and council estates and never again scratch the insides of our craniums with their inane, generic, dull drivel.
Feel free to call the writer of this article hurtful names by leaving a comment or you can agree and we’ll all have a backslapping party together and who knows, maybe even get some pitchforks and burning torches.
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